


If we hold on together

by Ailendolin



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Character Death Fix, Elnor to the rescue, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Fix-it, Family Feels, Family of Choice, Fix-It, Found Family, Gen, Hugh needs a hug, Hugh will get a hug, Hugh | Third of Five Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Rescue, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailendolin/pseuds/Ailendolin
Summary: 'This might not be how the Zhat Vash fight the Qowat Milat,' Elnor thought as the Romulan operative holstered her weapon with calculated confidence and took a haughty step towards him. 'But this is how the Qowat Milat win.'Elnor chooses not to sheathe his sword, and it changes everything for him, Hugh and the xBs.Fix-it for episode 7 "Nepenthe".
Relationships: Elnor & Hugh | Third of Five
Comments: 68
Kudos: 100





	1. Leaving

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first Hugh fic in which I fix the mess the writers left us with after episode 7. I hope you enjoy my take on things. The title comes from the song "If we hold on together" by Diana Ross. And just a little 'warning' beforehand: I'm not a native English speaker, so please don't hesitate to point out any mistakes you notice!
> 
> This fic is dedicated to the lovely Hugh Crew over on tumblr! You guys are amazing and I love our little niche in the fandom!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, Star Trek Picard or any of the characters mentioned in this story, and I don't make any money with this.

**If we hold on together**

**Chapter 1: Leaving**

_This might not be how the Zhat Vash fight the Qowat Milat_ , Elnor thought as the Romulan operative holstered her weapon with calculated confidence and took a haughty step towards him. _But this is how the Qowat Milat win_.

He adjusted his hold on his sword, pushed the unconscious Romulan he’d been using as leverage away and charged without hesitation, taking the woman off guard. Her eyes widened in surprise for a split second as she realized her mistake, and only her quick reflexes saved her from meeting the sharp edge of Elnor’s sword. She was good, her instincts no doubt honed to near perfection by years of rigorous training. But Elnor had had years of training, too, and unlike her he had a good cause to fight for. His purpose was to protect those in need, to preserve life whenever possible, and he always regretted every deadly blow his enemies forced him to make. She, on the other hand, wanted only to destroy, and while it didn’t seem to bring her joy, she clearly was not bothered by the trail of dead bodies she left in her wake.

Looking into her eyes, sharp, narrowed and glittering in the harsh light, Elnor began to understand the true meaning of the word _cold-hearted_.

He advanced on her again, and once more she sidestepped his attack. After two more tries of gaining the upper hand, Elnor stopped and turned to face her. For a moment they just stood there, seizing each other up, neither wanting to make the next move and both waiting for the other to make a deadly mistake.

Out of the corner of his eyes Elnor saw movement, and he willed himself not to look, not to react. Hugh, the former Borg whom he had sworn allegiance to just a few hours ago, was hiding only a couple of feet away, and rather poorly too, as Elnor noted with worry. He seemed unable or unwilling to take his eyes off the fight going on, leaving his position too open, too vulnerable, too _exposed_ , and Elnor wanted nothing more than to shout at him to run away, to hide where no one could find him until it was all over. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. The last thing Hugh needed right now was to have the Zhat Vash operative’s attention drawn to him.

She had already done enough harm as it was. Elnor would never forget the empty, broken look on Hugh’s face when he’d found him among the bodies of the people he so desperately had tried to help. The Romulan had killed them just because she could, had done so much harm for the sole purpose of torturing a man who had been fighting for most of his life to bring just a little bit more hope and justice to the universe with nothing but compassion and patience as his weapons.

(“Things,” Hugh had choked out in barely repressed fury after Elnor had found him. “She called us _things._ ”)

Even though he hadn’t known Hugh for very long, Elnor could see that he had been fighting metaphorical windmills for a long time. The Artifact was an unkind, hostile place by itself, and the Romulans occupying it cast dark shadows down the long, empty corridors and over the cold metal walls. Elnor could only imagine how awful living in a place like this must be for a former Borg drone, especially over an extended period of time, and yet Hugh had somehow endured it all and never given up: not on his project and not on his people, no matter how hopeless and frustrating and lonely his work must have been at times. It was that, more than anything, that had convinced Elnor to fight for him and his cause, and he would rather die protecting Hugh than allowing the Zhat Vash operative to lay her hands on him ever again.

Without thinking about it, Elnor subtly placed himself between her and Hugh, effectively shielding him from her. Since his sword had taken out her phaser during the initial attack, rendering it useless and leaving her without a long-range weapon at her disposal, her only manner of defense was to keep out of his reach as best as she could as he advanced on her. It was only a matter of time until she would make a mistake, until she would become tired of sidestepping him and wouldn’t be fast enough to move out of the way.

Or so Elnor had thought.

Seemingly out of nowhere, she suddenly pulled out not just one, but two short Romulan blades. A triumphant smirk graced her face as her eyes flicked up to meet his for a brief moment. She seemed confident again, now that she wasn’t defenseless anymore. It was almost as if she knew something Elnor didn’t, as if she truly believed she could defeat him with two tiny blades, and it was her self-confidence more than anything else that made him hesitate in his advance, if only for a fraction of a second.

It was enough to give her an opening, and she seized it ruthlessly.

Her eyes snapped down to something behind him, and before Elnor could react, before dread could take hold of his heart and grip it with icy fingers, she raised one of her hands and threw the first of her blades with terrible accuracy and strength. The second blade followed not even a second later, but this time Elnor was ready. Driven by a mix of shock and anger, he ran into her and pushed her back as hard as he could, throwing off her aim in the process.

Behind them, a painful gasp echoed through the corridor, letting them both know her weapon had still managed to find its mark despite the alteration of its course. The Zhat Vash operative had the audacity to smirk at him, her face full of cruel delight, and Elnor saw red. He raised his sword to deliver the final, mortal blow, longing for the peace it would bring, but before he could rid the universe of her cruelty, she was surrounded by bright light and vanished into thin air right in front of his eyes with a last smug wave as her allies transported her to safety. Elnor’s sword came down hard against the wall instead of her flesh and bones, and the force of the blow made his ears ring and his arms shake. 

“Coward!” he shouted at the empty air and it took all his willpower not to bring down his sword onto the wall again in uncontrolled and childish anger. That didn’t stop him from glaring at the place where she had stood, though, trembling with the force of his emotions boiling beneath his skin, and itching for revenge.

A quiet sound, almost like a whimper, filled the deafening silence, and the pain in that one hitched breath was enough to pull Elnor’s thoughts away from the dark place they had wandered to.

He turned around, and all the anger and frustration he had felt only a moment ago drained away when his eyes landed on Hugh – Hugh who was lying on the ground, curled around a Romulan blade in his stomach while another stuck horribly out of his neck. His face was pale, almost ashen in the unflattering light of the cube, and his eyes were wide and frightened, almost like a child’s.

A long, painful second passed as Elnor tried to come to terms with what he was seeing.

 _He is not supposed to look like this,_ he thought numbly. _He was not supposed to get hurt._

But he was, and terribly so, and it was that thought that finally spurred Elnor into action. He hurried over to Hugh and crouched down beside him at once, reaching for his hand as he tried to assess the wounds the woman had caused without touching them. Hugh held onto him, his grip still strong, but the skin beneath Elnor’s fingers was cold – colder than it should be.

 _He’s going into shock_ , Elnor realized.

He tried to remember what he was supposed to do when that happened (“You need to keep him warm,” Zani’s voice whispered in his mind, a remnant of a lesson from long ago.). But there were no blankets around, no way to raise the temperature of the hallway, no medical supplies – nothing. Sharing body heat was not an option either because they couldn’t stay here, not with the Zhat Vash operative still alive and somewhere on this cube and most likely already plotting her next attack against them.

His rising panic must have shown on his face because suddenly, Hugh smiled up at him.

“You should have gone with your friends,” he whispered, trying to offer comfort even though Elnor could see he was in pain. The blade in his neck moved with every word he spoke.

(“Do not pull it out,” Zani cautioned from the past. “It’s what’s keeping him alive.”)

Elnor bit his lip and tangled the fingers of his restless hand in the strands of Hugh’s hair instead of reaching for the blade.

“I did go with my friend,” he said, quietly and honestly. “And I do not regret it.”

Hugh’s smile crumbled at his words.

With one last gentle caress, Elnor pulled away. He couldn’t allow himself to linger on Hugh’s pain right now. Giving in to the urge to hold and comfort would only cost them time – time Hugh didn’t have if his labored breathing and the pallor of his skin were any indication. He needed more medical help than Elnor could provide. Elnor was a warrior, not a healer, and his knowledge of first-aid was not extensive enough to deal with injuries like these, even if they would somehow manage to find their way to a medbay ( _Do Borg cubes even have medbays?_ Elnor wondered.).

If he wanted Hugh to survive, he had to get him off the Artifact. That needed to be his priority right now, Elnor decided: find a way out and make sure Hugh would get the help he needed. There was only one place he could think of that was far away from the Romulans hunting them down and accessible without having to steal a shuttle Elnor had no idea how to fly.

Nepenthe, the place Picard and Soji had gone to, and where the rest of the crew was hopefully already heading to as well at the moment. If Hugh held on just a little longer and they made it to the queen’s cell, they would be able to find Picard and he would know what to do. Or Dr. Jurati would, when La Sirena arrived at the planet. They would save Hugh and stop the pain and make everything all right again. Elnor was sure of that.

Another thing he was sure of was that Hugh wouldn’t like this plan. Elnor had seen how devoted he was to his people, had seen him cry and mourn for them after the Zhat Vash had executed them in front of him in cold blood. Abandoning the xBs now in their time of need would be the last thing Hugh would want, and if Elnor was honest with himself he wasn’t happy about leaving them behind either. It felt wrong to go without them, to leave them at the mercy of the Romulans, but he saw no other way, not with Hugh slowly bleeding out a little more with every minute that passed. Hugh’s well-being had to come first – otherwise the xBs would lose their voice and protector, and that was unacceptable.

“We need to move,” he decided, meeting Hugh’s eyes in the flickering lights. “Do you think you can walk?”

Hugh took a shaky breath and nodded, and with Elnor’s arm around his shoulders he managed to slowly get to his feet. He swayed on the spot and his upper body remained slightly curled over the wound in his stomach but at least he was standing. Elnor counted it as a win.

“Where are we going?” Hugh gritted out against the pain even though Elnor was holding him as gently as he could.

He adjusted his arm a little, taking more of Hugh’s weight, and said, “To the queen’s cell, like we planned.”

Elnor began to retrace his steps. He remembered the way, had committed it to memory when they’d first walked through these eerie corridors hours ago. He felt confident following the map he had crafted in his mind, and the situation reminded him of all the training exercises Zani had put him through in the wilderness of Vashti. The only difference was, on Vashti he had been alone and listening for the sound of wild animals in the bush instead of unwanted Romulan footsteps treading softly over metal.

The further they went, the more Hugh started to lean on him and the slower their progress was. By the time they were finally closing in on the area where the queen’s cell was located, he kept wincing with every step he took and his face was strained and beaded with sweat.

“I … I don’t think I can take back the cube,” he admitted hoarsely when they stopped to rest for a moment. “Not like this. You should leave me behind and find another way out. I’m just slowing you down. You have a better chance of surviving without me.”

Elnor shook his head. “Leaving you behind is not an option,” he said resolutely.

He saw Hugh swallow hard. “I don’t want anyone else to die because of me today,” he admitted quietly. “Please, Elnor.”

“I will not die today, my friend, and neither will you,” Elnor reassured him. “Come on, it’s not far now. You can make it.”

He dragged Hugh back to his feet. The glassy look in his eyes worried him, and when Elnor raised his hand to feel his temperature he found the skin hot to the touch despite the shivers wrecking Hugh’s body every now and then. Elnor frowned, and his eyes fell once more to the blades still stuck in Hugh’s neck and stomach.

 _Poison_ , he realized, the pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place. _The blades must have been dipped in poison._ It was the only logical explanation for the fever and the shivering, and it made him loathe the Zhat Vash even more. Killing someone in combat was bad enough, but killing someone slowly over time from the inside was despicable, deceitful and dishonorable. Poison was a coward’s way to take a life. The least one could do was look their enemy in the eye when ending their existence.

“That’s the second time you’ve called me friend,” Hugh mumbled, a little short of breath, pulling Elnor out of his grim thoughts as they made their way through more, thankfully empty, corridors. “You don’t even know me.”

Elnor gave him a brief smile. “I don’t need to know you to be your friend,” he said. “I can see you’re a good person. That’s enough for me. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you in the future and getting to know you better, though.”

Hugh’s steps faltered a little in surprise and he would have stumbled had Elnor not held him up. He bit his lip bloody muffling a cry of pain when the blade in his stomach was jarred in the process, and Elnor really didn’t like the steady trickle of blood coming from the wound and slickening his hand.

Something he liked even less was the way Hugh’s head began to list to the side and how his eyes slowly fell shut.

“Hey, you need to stay awake,” he urged.

Hugh’s eyes snapped back open, clouded with exhaustion and pain, and he blinked heavily once or twice, before he said, “I’m sorry.” He averted his gaze, shame coloring his cheeks faintly red, a welcome hint of life on his otherwise pale face. “It’s just … I’m tired, Elnor. I’m so tired.”

Elnor swallowed hard. They were running out of time. _Hugh_ was running out of time.

“I know,” he said. “But I need your help. Please, you have to stay awake.”

“I’ll try,” Hugh mumbled, and Elnor could see that he was because his eyes became a little more alert again and he visibly steeled himself against the pain to keep going just a little bit farther.

His strength of will was admirable but Elnor knew it had limits and would only get him so far.

They were just around the corner from the entrance to the queen’s cell when a vicious coughing fit had Hugh suddenly doubling over. Elnor did his best to steady him and keep him from hurting himself even further, but in the end all he could do was watch helplessly as Hugh’s body shook and trembled in agony, threatening to fall apart right there in Elnor’s arms. By the time the dreadful coughing finally subsided, Hugh had barely any strength left to hold himself up.

Yet when he met Elnor’s eyes he still smiled weakly and rasped out, “Don’t worry. I’m fine.” The words were barely audible, and not at all convincing.

“You’re not,” Elnor said softly, shaking his head. “But that’s all right. Just breathe with me. Steady and slow.”

In that moment it didn’t matter that they were running out of time, that the queen’s cell was just around the corner and almost within reach. What mattered was that Hugh could barely breathe, could barely _stand_. What mattered was that he was at the brink of exhaustion, his grip on Elnor’s tunic growing weaker and weaker, and he needed a break. Elnor might not be able to treat his wounds, but he could give him a short moment of respite if nothing else.

Mindful of the blades, he carefully pulled Hugh forward into his arms so he could rest against him for a minute. Hugh didn’t resist. He let Elnor hold him up, and his hands were weakly grasping at Elnor’s back as he continued to gasp for air as if he were drowning. The skin of his forehead felt clammy and hot where it was pressed against Elnor’s neck, and Elnor found it extremely difficult to listen to Hugh’s painful breaths and be unable to help him.

Hugh was fading right before his eyes, and for the first time in his life, Elnor was afraid of watching someone die.

He glanced down at Hugh, at the two blades sticking gruesomely out of his body. They were trembling with every hard-won breath Hugh took, causing waves of pain to ripple through fragile nerves again and again and again. Elnor wanted to rip them out, wanted to give Hugh at least some relief from the pain he was suffering and stop the poison from flowing into his bloodstream but he kept his hands firmly on Hugh’s back instead, a warm and reassuring presence that hopefully helped ground him at least a little. Those blades were buying them precious time right now by blocking the wounds – time Elnor knew they couldn’t afford to waste any longer.

He leaned back a little.

“We need to get going,” he said as gently as he could, but he regretted his words immediately when Hugh groaned in pain. Elnor bit his lip. “The queen’s cell is just around the corner, all right? It’s not far. You can make it. I know you can,” he said, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

Hugh didn’t respond and Elnor tried his best to blink away the burning in his own eyes as he helped his friend down the corridor towards the hidden door of the queen’s cell, step after painful step.

“Can you open it?”

For a few long seconds Hugh stared blankly at the walls. Then, to Elnor’s great relief, he raised a trembling hand and the wall lit up with life. His movements were slow and sluggish and Elnor had no idea what he was actually doing and how the whole thing worked, but in the end the door began to open and they stepped through into the queen’s cell.

“Can you close it from this side?” Elnor asked.

“I … I don’t know,” Hugh responded slowly, as if he had trouble processing what Elnor was asking of him.

Worried, Elnor peered down the corridor they’d just come from. They were exposed with the door open like this, an easy target for anyone walking by. He had no doubt the Zhat Vash operative was still tracking them and had already sent her men to take them out. And with Hugh barely standing even with Elnor’s help, there was no way he would be able to power up the spatial trajector on his own which meant that Elnor couldn’t fight and defend them should they be discovered. They would be easy pickings for the Romulans like this.

The door needed to be shut.

“Can you try?” Elnor urged, wishing he didn’t have to when Hugh’s eyes, now full of wary reluctance and fear beneath the pain and exhaustion, met his. “I don’t want to make you but we would be safer with the door closed.”

Hugh nodded. “I just … I don’t like interacting with the cube from in here,” he admitted quietly even as he put his hand up to the wall again, accessing the system once more. “It terrifies me.”

Elnor’s chest tightened, remembering Hugh’s words from earlier: _Maybe I was afraid I’d be tempted to use it._ He felt sick for asking this of his friend, for asking so much when Hugh was already in pain, both physically and mentally, but they couldn’t take the chance with the open door.

They just couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

He watched in muted silence as Hugh – brave and courageous Hugh who was stronger than anyone Elnor knew – closed his eyes and concentrated on the Borg mechanics hidden in the metal beneath his hand. It took him longer than before but eventually the wall started to glow, and when the door closed before them, Elnor could have cried in relief.

“You did it!” he smiled. 

Hugh didn’t smile back. His arm fell limply to his side as if he didn’t have the strength to hold it up anymore, and then his whole body sagged against Elnor in utter exhaustion.

“Easy, my friend,” Elnor murmured, but Hugh weakly shook his head.

“The spatial trajector,” he said, blinking sluggishly. His voice was strained and barely above a whisper, and Elnor wished he had at least some water to give him. “To the place Admiral Picard went?”

Elnor nodded, full of regret. “Yes. Are you up for that?”

“With your help,” Hugh said though he sounded uncertain.

“You have it,” Elnor swore, because this he could do. This he owed him. “Today and tomorrow and every day after, if you want it.”

Hugh didn’t seem to know what to do with that proclamation, too wrung out to fully grasp its meaning, so Elnor asked him where they needed to go and steered them in the right direction.

It was slow going, starting up the spatial trajector. They moved across the room to activate all the mechanisms needed to power up and stabilize the portal, and Elnor tried not to worry about the shaking of Hugh’s hands or the damp trails on his face when he established connection after connection to the Borg cube. His movements became worryingly sluggish as time passed, his eyes more and more unfocused, and when the last adjustments were finally made and the spatial trajector whirred to life, his legs gave out at last and Elnor had no choice but to gently lower him to the ground.

“It will … take a while,” Hugh pressed out through gritted teeth, “to power up.” He let his head fall against the wall behind him and closed his eyes, trembling all over from poison and exhaustion. Elnor gently shook his shoulder, careful not to aggravate his injuries.

“Don’t fall asleep. Not yet.”

“Why not?” Hugh asked, slurring his words. “I’ve done all I could. When the trajector is ready, you can just step through. It will power down by itself after a minute or two.” He let out a shaky breath. “Fail safe.”

Elnor frowned. “I do not understand. What …” He cut himself off abruptly, his eyes widening in realization.

“No,” he said resolutely, shaking his head. “No, you’ve got it wrong. We’re leaving together or not at all. I’m not leaving you behind. Do you hear me, Hugh? We’re both going. Together.”

Hugh blinked his tired eyes open, and the look of confusion on his face was heartbreaking. “Together?” he asked quietly, as if the thought of Elnor taking him with him had never crossed his mind.

Elnor didn’t like what that implied.

“Yes, together,” he affirmed quietly. He sat down next to Hugh, close enough so that he could wrap an arm around his shoulders. Hugh leaned into his touch with a shaky sigh. “We will find Picard and get you help, and once you’re healed, we will return and take back the Artifact. That’s the plan.” He paused, holding Hugh’s gaze for a moment. “That has _always_ been the plan.”

Hugh swallowed hard even though it obviously caused him pain. He looked overwhelmed, as if Elnor had just turned his whole world upside down. “You … you would come back here? With me?”

When Elnor simply nodded, Hugh’s eyes welled over and he hid his tears behind his hands.

Gently, carefully, Elnor pulled Hugh’s hands away from his face so he could look at him. “Your cause is noble,” he said quietly, stroking the cold fingers as lightly as he could while trying to rub some warmth back into them. “Your heart even more so. I would be honored to help you help those who cannot help themselves.” He paused, taking in the tears, the scars, the signs of years of suffering that lined Hugh’s face. “If you’ll have me.”

“But your friends …” Hugh protested weakly.

“Will be fine,” Elnor said with confidence. Picard had Rios and Raffi and Dr. Jurati. And he had Soji now, the reason he had come to the Artifact in the first place. His path was set, and he wouldn’t have to walk it alone. He had no need of Elnor anymore, as much as it pained Elnor to admit that even to himself.

But Hugh … Hugh had no one, not like that. That much was clear now. There was a loneliness about him that was familiar to Elnor. While Elnor had never truly been alone in his life – certainly not since the Qowat Milat took him in – he had still been lonely, never quite belonging and fitting in among the Sisters. He had always been an outsider among his own people, and while he didn’t know much about Hugh’s life before they met, he could see that same loneliness in him right now, the same desperate need to belong somewhere and find someone who cared and understood and _stayed_.

Elnor wanted to be that person for him, wanted to help him build a safe haven for those unwanted by the rest of the galaxy, and not just because of his oath. He wanted to get to know Hugh and become a friend in more than word. He wanted to stand by his side when he smiled with happiness, and he wanted to be there for him when the suffering became too much to bear. He wanted to be the person Hugh would share his hopes and dreams and darkest fears with, and he wanted to share his own in return.

He wanted whatever Hugh was willing to give, but just when Elnor wanted to tell him any of this, the spatial trajector finished establishing a connection to Nepenthe, filling the queen’s cell with an eerie light.

Elnor let out a relieved sigh. They had done it. They had fought their way out against all odds, and for the first time since he found Hugh mourning his slaughtered people Elnor felt the tightness in his chest ease a little. They were almost safe. Hugh could finally get the help he needed.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself off the ground and offered Hugh his hand. “We will come back,” he promised when Hugh hesitated taking it, looking guiltily at the closed door behind which, somewhere on the cube, people like him were left at the mercy of the Zhat Vash. “Your cause will not be forgotten, but first we must help ourselves before we can help them. Please trust me on this. I promise we will return.”

Hugh closed his eyes in regret for a brief moment before he swallowed hard and nodded. He reached for Elnor’s hand and stumbled to his feet in an act of strength that drained what little color he had managed to regain in the last few minutes from his face. Elnor pulled him close before he could fall, steadying him with a firm arm around his waist.

“Thank you,” Hugh rasped out once he caught his breath, and Elnor had a feeling the words were meant for more than the physical support Elnor was providing right now.

“Always,” he said.

Together, they crossed the short distance to the spatial trajector. Elnor didn’t know what would happen when they stepped through nor had he any idea where exactly they would find themselves, but his heart was telling him that this was the right thing to do, no matter how much it pained him to leave Hugh’s people behind and his task unfinished.

He glanced over at Hugh, saw the painful grimace on his ashen and tear-stained face, the tense way he was holding himself and how troubled his breathing was, and didn’t hesitate.

He walked forward, holding Hugh close, and together they stepped into the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I plan on writing at least two more, though it might take a little while to update since I don't have that much time to write at the moment. 
> 
> Stay safe, everyone!


	2. Saving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for the depiction of medical procedures. Also, I'm in no way a medical professional so everything in this chapter is just made up but hopefully it will still somehow make sense.

**Chapter 2: Saving**

Elnor decided this would be the first and last time he would travel by spatial trajector. It might be fast but he felt like he was being torn apart at the seams and pulled in a million different direction all at once before being put back together again, tiny molecular bit by bit. When they materialized on Nepenthe he felt queasy and unsteady on his feet, and the sudden sight of trees and meadows combined with the warm glow of the evening sunset was almost jarring after spending hours surrounded by nothing but cold dark metal and gloomy light on the Artifact.

He glanced over at Hugh who was still pressed tightly against his side, Elnor’s arm around him the only reason he was still standing. His friend’s eyes were glazed over with fever and pain and his face had lost even more of its color (something Elnor hadn’t thought possible a moment ago), but there was a look of almost childlike wonder on his tired face as he took in the lush green scenery around them.

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered hoarsely. “I’d forgotten how beautiful the universe could be.”

It made Elnor wonder how long Hugh had been living on the Artifact. Months? Maybe even years? And before that, had he lived on a ship, staring at nothing but the darkness of space ever since he became an xB? Or had he also stayed on planets, perhaps somewhere where vibrant shades of green just weren’t common?

Elnor had so many questions but now was not the time to ask them, not when he could feel Hugh’s grip on his tunic growing weaker, the shock of spatial trajector travel finally catching up with him.

He looked around, trying to determine where Picard and Soji had gone. There were no buildings in sight, no path that led out of the clearing they had been transported to. All around them were only trees and grass and flowers as far as the eye could see, and a little way off a small stream flowed gently downhill. Elnor couldn’t see it but he heard the water traveling along its bed, burbling almost happily. It was a lovely sound but not helpful at that moment, so Elnor focused all his senses on the ground instead. Some of the grass blades in front of them looked a little bent, he thought, as if someone or something had stepped on them some time ago. The tracks were barely visible, and Elnor knew they were most likely the work of native animals wandering by and not of humans. But since he had no other lead to follow Elnor decided to take a chance.

“Come on,” he told Hugh. “I think Picard and Soji might have gone this way.”

Walking down an uneven forest path with an injured person was even more challenging than moving around on the Artifact with its perfectly straight and level hallways and angled geometry had been, Elnor quickly realized. Hugh was more dragging his feet than walking, and he kept stumbling over hidden tree roots and lose rocks and sometimes nothing at all despite Elnor’s best attempts to steady him. More than once they both would have fallen had Elnor not managed to grab onto a nearby branch just in time.

It was tiring and frustrating and they were moving way too slowly, but Elnor refused to let that deter him. Picard and Soji had to be around here somewhere, and wherever they were help would be, too. He just needed to keep going and prevent Hugh from falling and hurting himself further and soon, everything would be all right.

It had to be.

So he tightened his grip on Hugh’s waist and kept them moving forward, step by unsteady step, ignoring the heat radiating off of Hugh’s skin where he was pressed close to his side and the blood dripping from the wound beneath Hugh’s ribs onto his hand, all the while hoping for a sign, _any sign_ , of civilization.

None appeared. No house on the horizon, no cobbled path, no fence, no people of any kind.

Nothing.

“Elnor, stop,” Hugh said at last, gasping desperately for breath. “Please stop. I … I need to sit down.”

Elnor knew if they stopped now the chances of Hugh getting back onto his feet again were slim at best. So he hesitated, but one look at Hugh told him that he had already quietly accepted that this was as far as he would go. Even though Elnor wanted nothing more than to urge him to keep walking, just a little bit further, he knew it wouldn’t make a difference in the long run. Hugh had already pushed himself past his limits by sheer willpower alone for longer than Elnor had thought possible, and not even the strongest mind could withstand the bone-deep exhaustion he saw etched into Hugh’s features, aided by the poison coursing through his system, forever.

This moment had been inevitable, as loath as Elnor was to admit that. A part of him had been expecting it for a while now, and yet his eyes still burned with tears of frustration when he admitted defeat and carefully lowered Hugh to the ground in front of an old tree.

_This isn’t fair_ , he thought angrily. They were so close now, almost within reach of safety and friends and medical help. They had almost made it against all odds.

But in the end, _almost_ would never be good enough. _Almost_ meant failing just as success was within reach. _Almost_ meant never arriving at a destination, never reaching a goal, never finishing what was started.

And in this case, _almost_ meant losing someone just before they could have been saved.

Elnor bit his lip to keep his emotions in check as he carefully – very carefully – guided Hugh to rest his head against the trunk behind him. Hugh let out a shaky breath and it was only when he allowed his body to relax that Elnor realized how tightly wound he had been all this time.

“I’m sorry,” Hugh said. He didn’t meet Elnor’s eyes. “I … I think I’m done with walking.”

Elnor swallowed hard and put on a brave smile. “I know.” He knelt down next to Hugh and raised one of his hands – the one not covered in blood from Hugh’s wound – to his forehead. “Your fever’s rising.”

Hugh gave a tight nod. “It feels like I have liquid fire in my veins. Everything hurts, every breath, and …” He finally looked up and Elnor was taken aback by how unnaturally dilated his non-prosthetic eye was. How had he not noticed that before? “Elnor, the world is darkening around me.”

Elnor’s heart missed a beat.

“You’re losing your eyesight,” he realized, feeling numb.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Hugh sighed, his voice quiet and apologetic, as if asking for Elnor’s forgiveness. “But it’s fading fast now and I … I can barely make out what’s in front of me anymore.” He brought his arms up around his chest in a desperate attempt at self-comfort, mindful of the blade still stuck in his side, and it was that familiar gesture that made Elnor want to cry and weep and rage against the unfairness of it all. 

“I’m sorry,” he said helplessly instead.

“It’s not your fault,” Hugh murmured.

But it was, Elnor thought. If he’d been just a little bit quicker, a little bit faster, then the Zhat Vash blades wouldn’t have found their target and Hugh wouldn’t be suffering right now. He wouldn’t be gasping for breath in a forest on a planet light years away from the people he cared about. If Elnor had trained better, if he had been just a little bit more alert, more focused on his task, then the Zhat Vash operative would have been the one losing her life instead of Hugh who had never done anyone any harm as far as Elnor knew and only wanted to help those the universe liked to forget about.

It just wasn’t _fair_.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, you know?” Hugh said quietly though his gaze was vacant and far away, fixed on some distant point of the forest. Elnor wondered how much he was still able to see. He hoped the vibrant colors of life all around them hadn’t been completely taken away from him yet. “I’m glad you stayed. I … I wouldn’t want to be alone. Not right now. Not in this.”

“You’re not,” Elnor reassured him, because this was something he could do, at least. “You’ll never be alone again. You have me now.”

A small but genuine smile graced Hugh’s lips. “I really like the sound of that,” he murmured, almost wistfully. “Thank you, even though it’s not true.”

Before Elnor could protest that he had meant every word he’d said Hugh’s eyes fell shut and his head rolled limply to the side. Instinctively, Elnor’s hands shot out to keep Hugh’s body from slumping forward.

“Hugh?” he asked, hoping Hugh would open his mismatched eyes and look at him again, just like he had done every time he’d been on the verge of losing consciousness before.

This time, he didn’t.

“Hugh?” Elnor repeated, more frantically now. “Hugh, you have to wake up. _Wake up_!”

Hugh’s eyes remained closed. 

Afraid of what he would find, Elnor placed two trembling fingers against the side of Hugh’s throat. The skin was clammy, burning with fever, and a steady drip of blood was seeping out around the blade still stuck on the other side. Elnor ignored all that, all of his senses primed to detect a pulse, however faint it might be. He sighed in relief when he finally felt the beat of Hugh’s heart beneath his fingertips, too rapid and too fluttery to be reassuring but unmistakably there.

There was still time – not a lot, perhaps, but it might just be enough if he made the right decisions now. He weighed his options: he could carry Hugh and continue to follow the fading footprints, but with the blades still precariously stuck in Hugh’s body it was a gamble Elnor wasn’t willing to take, too afraid of causing more harm than good. There was also the possibility that he might not even be heading in the right direction at all. The footprints he had been following until now might not even have been left by Picard and Soji, leading him astray instead of towards safety and help.

Before, Elnor had been willing to take that chance. Now, with Hugh unconscious and getting progressively worse, he was not. He needed help and there was only one way he could hope to get it.

“Please work,” he whispered, activating the communicator Rios had given him when he first came onboard _La Sirena_ with a shaking hand. He hadn’t thought about using it before, not with the ship most likely still being too far away from Nepenthe and thus out of range. It shouldn’t work, it _couldn’t_ , but it was the only option he had left and he was desperate enough to try anything on the off-chance that it would somehow help Hugh.

To his astonishment, the communicator immediately activated with a reassuring beep. Elnor let out a surprised laugh. “It works!” he exclaimed, almost unable to believe his luck. His eyes found Hugh again. “You’ll be all right now, my friend. You’ll see,” he promised before focusing his attention back onto the communicator. “This is Elnor,” he said. “Can anybody hear me? Picard?”

Nothing but static answered him and Elnor felt his heart plummet.

“Hello? Picard, are you there? Soji? Anybody?” he tried again. “Please, if someone can hear me: We need help.”

Still nothing. That bright spark of hope Elnor had felt only a moment ago slowly dimmed into quiet despair. He closed his eyes and forced away the tears he felt welling up. Of course it wouldn’t work without _La Sirena_ in orbit. He’d known it wouldn’t. He’d _known_. How could he have been so foolish as to hope it would anyway, against all logic? How could he have been so naïve as to think that he of all people could protect someone like Hugh? He was not Qowat Milat and he never would be. He was just a child, too young and too hopelessly out of his depth here. The universe was too vast for him, too unpredictable, and he felt lost in a way he never had on Vashti even though he hadn’t belonged there, either, not truly. 

Still, he never should have left, should have never followed Picard into space at all. He hadn’t been ready. He hadn’t trained enough. He hadn’t–

“Elnor?” a staticky voice suddenly asked, and Elnor’s head snapped up. “Elnor, can you hear me?”

“Picard!” Elnor exclaimed in wonder. He felt like crying and laughing at the same time, and let out a relieved sob. “It makes me so happy to hear your voice!”

“Are you all right?” Picard asked, and there was an urgency to his tone that had never been directed at Elnor before. Warmth spread through him and he allowed himself a brief moment to revel in it. He was not alone in this anymore. Picard would know what to do and help him carry the burden now. 

“I am well,” he said, because it was the truth, “but Hugh is not. He is hurt and needs help. Please, can you come find us?”

To his surprise, a different voice answered him this time. “Elnor, this is Deanna. I’m a friend of Admiral Picard’s. Can you tell me how exactly Hugh is hurt and what happened?”

Her voice, though not familiar, sounded warm and soothing – almost like his mother’s faded voice from his memories – and Elnor felt her calmness wash over him even across the distance that separated them. It helped center him enough to tell her what happened.

“He got hit by two Zhat Vash blades: one in the neck and one beneath his ribs,” he explained. “They were dipped in some kind of poison – I don’t know which one – but I didn’t dare pull them out. I … I think they’re stopping the bleeding from becoming too bad.”

“Good call,” Deanna said and Elnor felt a weight he hadn’t even known had been there being lifted off his chest. “Is Hugh conscious?”

Elnor shook his head. “No, but he was until a moment ago. His fever’s been getting worse and he said his vision was failing. He’s so pale,” he whispered, “and his pulse is weak, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him and I think he’s dying.” His breathing hitched and Elnor took a deep calming breath. “I don’t want him to die. Please. He’s a good person and … and he’s my friend.”

“I know,” Deanna said and her voice was so understanding and reassuring that Elnor wished she were here with them. “He’s my friend, too, and I promise we will do everything we can to help him. Soji is already on her way to you, and Admiral Picard is calling Beverly right now to help us treat him.”

Elnor’s gaze drifted down to Hugh’s slack face. “Please hurry,” he whispered. “I don’t think he has much time left.”

“Can you tell us where you are?” Deanna asked. “Are there any landmarks near you?”

Elnor looked at the dense vegetation around him. There was nothing except –

“We’re at this old, massive tree. It’s in bloom. The flowers are white and blue.” He paused, remembering Hugh’s words from earlier. “They’re beautiful.”

“Soji?” Deanna asked. “Do you know what tree he’s talking about?”

“I think I do,” Soji confirmed over the commlink. “Kestra led us past it earlier. I’m already halfway there.”

Elnor let out a soft breath and bowed his head, glad he had made the right call by following the barely visible footprints.

“Do you hear that?” he said to Hugh. “Soji’s almost here. She’s going to save you just like you saved her.”

Hugh didn’t answer but Elnor didn’t expect him to. His words were more to reassure himself than to comfort Hugh if he was being honest. Once more, he pressed his fingers against Hugh’s neck, needing some proof that his friend was still with him. It took him longer than before to find the gentle thrum of life beneath his hand but it was still there, still fighting.

“Just hold on a little longer, all right?” he pleaded. “You have so much left to give, Hugh. Your people need you and I … I do, too. I do not wish to live a life without you in it.”

Elnor knew the commlink was still open but he didn’t care if Deanna or Soji or even Picard heard him. He had pledged his life to Hugh and he wasn’t ashamed of that. Hugh was special, the most extraordinary person Elnor had ever met (and that included Picard who he had idolized for most of his life), and he wished more people would see past Hugh’s implants and scars and realize how much heart he had – how beautifully _human_ he was. Hugh deserved to be seen and recognized for all he had done and managed to achieve, and Elnor wanted to be right there next to him when that moment finally came, no matter how far into the future that might be.

He didn’t know how much time had passed until Soji found them. His world had narrowed down to Hugh, to the faint beating of his heart and the slow rise and fall of his chest – hoping, praying it wouldn’t stop. He was dangerously deaf to his surroundings, something Zani would have undoubtedly reprimanded him for if she were here. On Vashti, not being vigilant in the wilderness would have most likely cost him his life.

Luckily here on Nepenthe, the only one stumbling upon him was Soji. Elnor didn’t hear her approach, so when a slender hand landed on his shoulder, he startled so badly he instinctively reached for his sword and whirled around to point it at her.

“It’s just me, Elnor,” Soji said, holding up her hands to show she meant no harm.

“Soji!” Elnor sagged and sheathed his sword. He wiped a tired hand over his face. “I am sorry. You surprised me, but I am truly happy to see you.”

Soji gave him a tight smile and shifted her attention to Hugh. Her intelligent eyes took in everything about him in a matter of seconds – the blades in his neck and side and the blood trickling out of the wounds, the pallor of his skin, the heat radiating off of him and the tremors that shook his frame every now and then.

“You were right,” she said, unable to keep the worry out of her voice. “He doesn’t have much time left.”

“Then we must hurry,” Elnor pleaded.

Soji nodded. With a few quick movements of her hands she assembled the stretcher she’d brought with her. Together, they lifted Hugh onto it. They tried to be as gentle and careful as possible but Hugh still groaned in obvious pain when they moved him.

“I’m sorry, my friend,” Elnor mumbled, briefly placing one of his hands against Hugh’s forehead in a gesture he hoped would be soothing. Then he reached for the handles of the stretcher, making sure his grip was strong and secure.

Soji looked over her shoulder at him, and when he nodded she said, “Let’s go.”

She set a pace that was fast and even. They made sure to hold the stretcher as steady as possible between them but Elnor still worried that they were putting too much strain on Hugh’s wounds. Every now and then Hugh would whimper in pain and try to curl around the blade in his side, and they would have to stop and calm him down before they could continue. While a part of Elnor was glad to see him move at all after he had been so unnaturally still before, the pained noises Hugh kept making did nothing to assuage his worry.

He knew he wasn’t the only one concerned. Soji’s lips were pressed into a tight line when they were forced to stop once more. Her eyes met his over Hugh’s trembling body, and Elnor saw his own worry reflected in hers. “We need to move faster.”

They picked up their pace, and Elnor had to grit his teeth when Hugh let out a string on tiny, broken, breathless sounds that refused to stop. They were hurting him, and while he would never forgive himself for causing his friend pain, Elnor knew he would do it all over again in a heartbeat if that was the price they had to pay to save Hugh’s life.

“Just hold on,” he muttered, again and again, almost like a mantra. “Please, Hugh, just a little longer. We’re almost there. Just hold on.”

By the time the house came finally into view Hugh’s whimpers had morphed into incoherent mumbling. Elnor caught a word here and there, and none of them were good. They painted a picture of Hugh’s past that Elnor, on some unconscious level, had suspected but hadn’t given much thought to until now. Hugh kept begging for them to stop, kept begging for an end to his pain, and even though Elnor knew it most likely wasn’t them Hugh was seeing in the darkness of his fever dreams it was only a small comfort.

A woman with long dark hair was waiting for them in front of the house, her posture straight and her hands clasped in front of her body. She looked calm and collected despite the worry in her eyes, and even though Elnor had never seen her before he somehow knew she had to be Deanna.

“Take him inside,” she instructed once they were within earshot, leading the way.

They followed her into a room Elnor assumed was the kitchen. He had no time to look around but the smell of a dinner interrupted still clung faintly to the air. Hugh made a choked-off sound when they placed him down on the simple wooden table that had been moved to the center of the room. It had been cleared off plates, cutlery, glasses and whatever decorations usually adorned it, and the moment Elnor’s hands were free he reached for Hugh, trying to offer what little comfort he could through touch.

Around them, people bustled about the room, busy with turning the kitchen into a makeshift operating room. Soji was scrubbing her hands at the sink while Deanna and a young girl with wide inquisitive eyes prepared various medical instruments that Elnor didn’t like to focus on too much. Next to them, a man with a kind smile was standing in front of a replicator, entering some sort of programming code into the machine on the orders of a red-haired woman whose tense face was looking down at them from a screen high up on the wall.

The only person not busy with preparations was Picard, something Elnor failed to notice until the admiral walked right up to him. There was a look in his eyes that reminded Elnor of the way people sometimes tended to look at skittish animals, and he briefly wondered why Picard would look at him like that.

“Elnor,” Picard began in that gentle voice of his that Elnor had missed for so many long years. “Are you all right?”

Elnor frowned at him, not understanding why Picard would be asking that. “Hugh is the one who is hurt. I am well, as I’ve told you before.”

Picard’s smile was sad when he said, “Being physically well doesn’t always mean you are all right, Elnor.” He nodded towards the door. “Let us go outside and leave them to their work. Hugh is in good hands here, I promise.”

Elnor shook his head and unconsciously tightened his grip on Hugh’s hand. “No,” he said resolutely, trying to quell the panic he felt rising within him at the thought of parting from Hugh. “I am not leaving him. I promised I wouldn’t and friends don’t break their promises.”

“Friends,” Hugh mumbled suddenly, and they turned to look at him in surprise. His eyes were still closed and his brow was furrowed as if he were stuck in a dream. “Like Geordi … and Hugh.”

Elnor didn’t know who Geordi was but judging from the stunned silence in the room he was most likely another member of Picard’s former crew, so he gave Hugh’s hand a gentle squeeze and said, “Yes, like Geordi and Hugh. You are not alone.”

“Alone,” Hugh murmured in distress. He turned his head from side to side as if looking for someone. “No voices.”

“Oh, Hugh,” an unfamiliar voice said and Elnor looked up at the red-haired woman on the screen. Her eyes were damp with tears and she looked at Hugh with so much compassion and love that Elnor was sure she would have held one of Hugh’s hands, too, if she were physically in the room with them right now. “You do not need the voices anymore. You haven’t for a while because you have friends now. I am Beverly, remember?”

Hugh’s distressed movements stilled for a moment. “Designation … Beverly,” he whispered as if unsure. “Doctor.”

Beverly smiled, telling the others with a look to keep working. “My _name_ is Beverly, that’s right. And your name is Hugh.”

“We are … Hugh?” Hugh asked hesitantly and something about the way he said that was so very wrong that Elnor couldn’t take it anymore.

“What is happening?” he asked. “Why is he talking like that?”

Beverly’s eyes met his across hundreds of light years. “It’s the high fever,” she explained. “Sometimes, people get confused and lost in their past. He’s remembering his time on the Enterprise when Geordi gave him his name – his first memories as an individual.”

“Geordi?” Hugh asked, and the tense lines of his face evened out a little as if the mere mention of his friend eased his distress.

“You will see Geordi soon,” Beverly promised just as Soji turned around and, with a nod from the man next to her, announced that she was ready.

Elnor felt Picard lean forward a little towards her. “Are you sure you can do this?”

Soji gave him an unimpressed look that reminded Elnor uncomfortably of the way Zani used to look at him when she wasn’t pleased with something he had said or done. “Medical procedures are part of my programming, Picard. I know what I’m doing.”

“And she has me to help her,” Beverly said. “Everyone else, clear out.” Before Elnor could protest she added, “Except for Elnor. We might need someone to hold Hugh down. You think you’re up for that?”

Elnor nodded without hesitation and that was that. Deanna ushered the others out of the room, much to the protest of the young girl, Elnor noticed, and then it was just the three of them left – and Hugh who had gone quiet and still once more.

“Alright,” Beverly said, taking a deep breath. “First things first: Soji, give me his readings.”

Soji picked up a medical tricorder and moved it over Hugh’s body in a slow circle. Beverly’s face darkened when she read the results on her screen. “We need to stabilize him before we can even think about doing anything else.”

Elnor watched as Soji selected a hypospray from the tray the man ( _Deanna’s husband?_ he wondered) had prepared. She didn’t know what the parameters she selected meant but Beverly seemed satisfied with her choice and Elnor knew he could trust her. She was not only Hugh’s friend but Picard’s as well, and that was good enough for him.

“Elnor,” Beverly warned, “you need to hold Hugh down when Soji applies the hypospray. He might react badly to it.”

There was a story behind Beverly’s vague words but Elnor decided not to ask. He put his hands on Hugh’s shoulders and nodded to Soji. “I’m ready.”

Soji didn’t hesitate. She placed the hypospray against the side of Hugh’s neck – the one without the blade sticking out of it – and activated it. Hugh tensed beneath Elnor’s hands but didn’t react otherwise.

“Alright, give me his readings again,” Beverly said.

The room was quiet while Soji worked the tricorder over Hugh’s body once more. The tremors were slowly stopping, Elnor noticed, and if he wasn’t mistaken Hugh’s face had regained at least a little bit of its natural color. He counted that as a good sign.

“He’s stabilizing,” Soji confirmed but there was a frown on her face when she looked up at Beverly. “Not as much as I hoped, though.”

“But enough to take a blood sample,” Beverly said. “We need to analyze the poison in his system so we can start replicating an antidote.”

Soji nodded and began readying the equipment while Elnor asked, “How long will that take?”

He didn’t find the way Beverly shrugged reassuring. “Depends on the poison. If it’s in our database it could be ready within fifteen to thirty minutes. If it’s not …”

She left the sentence hanging and Elnor knew what that meant. “He will die,” he whispered.

Soji locked eyes with him. “We won’t let that happen. Now hold him down again. This will hurt.”

She took hold of one of Hugh’s arms and pinned it to the table. Elnor watched anxiously as she cut open the sleeve of his shirt and searched for a good place among the scar tissue and Borg implants to apply the hyposyringe. When she pushed in the needle Hugh reacted without warning. His whole body tensed and he would have reared up if Elnor hadn’t pushed his shoulders down, not giving him any room to move.

The agonized sounds Hugh made were heart-wrenching. He strained against Elnor’s hold with what little strength he had left, and Elnor had to change tactics when he began to toss his head from side to side in distress, aggravating the wound on his neck in the process. Using his upper body instead of his arms to pin him down, Elnor’s reached up to hold Hugh’s head in place with his hands.

“It’s all right,” he kept mumbling. “I know it hurts and I’m sorry, Hugh. I’m so sorry.”

The moment Soji was done Hugh stopped struggling and relaxed again. He was breathing heavily, and cold sweat dampened his skin. His face was as white as a sheet once more, and Elnor didn’t have to look at the medical tricorder to know Hugh’s readings had worsened again.

Time seemed to slow down as they waited for the analysis of the blood sample to finish. Precious minutes slipped by while the machine worked to identify the components of the poison and find a match for it in the database. Elnor spent the whole time talking to Hugh, kept touching his hands and his face both in an attempt to comfort him and to keep his own nervous hands busy.

He only looked up again when the machine finally, thankfully, beeped. Beverly and Soji were studying the results intently on their respective screens, and Elnor watched their faces anxiously for any sign, good or bad. Suddenly, they both looked up smiling, having seemingly reached the same conclusion.

“We can work with that,” Beverly said, sounding relieved.

Soji nodded. “Yes, we can. Starting the replication process for the antidote now.”

Elnor glanced between them, not quite sure what that meant. “So you can save him?”

“We have a chance now, yes,” Soji confirmed.

A chance, Elnor thought. A chance wasn’t good enough. He looked up at Beverly. “What exactly does that mean?”

“It means the poison is in our database, as is its antidote. That’s a good thing,” Beverly stressed even though her face remained somber. “But he’s very weak, Elnor. He’s lost a lot of blood and the blades aren’t helping either. They’re putting a lot of stress on his body.”

“Can’t we just take them out now?” Elnor asked. “They have dermal regenerators here, I saw one. Soji can use it to close the wounds.”

Beverly shook her head and Elnor’s hopes fell. “I wish it was that easy. If Soji took out the blades now Hugh would most likely go into shock. His body can’t handle that kind of stress at the moment, not on top of the poison still wreaking havoc on his system.”

“So we stabilize him again,” Elnor said. “Give him another hypospray.”

“It wouldn’t be enough,” Soji said, turning around to face him. Behind her, the replicator lit up softly as it began creating the antidote that would hopefully save Hugh’s life. “Hugh is an xB, Elnor. Physiologically, he’s still part Borg. You can’t treat him like he’s human.”

Elnor’s eyes fell to the implants around Hugh’s prosthetic eye, to the scars that lined his face and his arm. He wondered how many more littered his body, hidden beneath heavy cloth. “What does that mean?” he asked quietly.

Soji’s eyes softened. “Have you ever heard of nanoprobes?”

Elnor shook his head.

“Think of them as tiny robots,” Soji explained. “The Borg inject them into the bloodstream of their victims during assimilation to reprogram their cells.”

“They also help the drones to maintain functionality by repairing both mechanical and biological parts when the drone is damaged,” Beverly added.

Elnor frowned, not understanding. “But if Hugh has those … nanoprobes, then why aren’t they helping him? Why haven’t they been fighting off the poison all this time?”

“Because his nanoprobes are barely functional,” Beverly said. “When we removed his implants, we had to put them into a dormant state, so to say, or Hugh would have needed to regenerate in a Borg alcove for at least six hours every day of the rest of his life.” She paused, her gaze shifting to Hugh’s unconscious face. “He didn’t want that, rather facing the consequences of living without their help.”

“The problem is,” Soji explained, “that without the nanoprobes an xB’s immune system is weakened. They’re more likely to get sick and their injuries take longer to heal than those of other people. It’s the reason why one area of research on the Reclamation Project was about finding ways to make life as normal as possible for the xBs without having to shut down their nanoprobes.”

Elnor had trouble wrapping his head around it all. “So, what are you going to do? Wake up his nanoprobes somehow so they can help? Is that even possible?”

Beverly nodded at him, and her gentle smile reminded him once more of Zani’s. She had looked at him just like this when he used to do something to make her proud. Elnor found himself missing her fiercely.

“It is. We need to shock his nanoprobes into action so they accelerate the effect of the antidote. They should give his body the extra push it needs to deal with the stress of the operation.”

“And if they don’t?” Elnor couldn’t help but ask.

“They will,” Soji said with conviction, and the tone of her voice made it clear that a different outcome was simply not acceptable. Elnor didn’t know her well but her determination to help Hugh made him like her instantly.

“How are you going to wake up the nanoprobes?”

“With this.” Soji reached for a device Elnor had never seen before: it looked similar to a hypospray, but at its front was a round metallic disc. “What it basically does is sending electric shockwaves through Hugh’s system, rebooting his nanoprobes.” She turned Hugh’s right hand around a little so Elnor could see a similar-looking metal implant on the outside of his wrist.

Elnor looked between it and the device back and forth. “And that’s … safe?”

Beverly nodded. “This isn’t the first time we’ve done it.” Elnor sensed a but coming, and he was right. “It won’t be pleasant for Hugh, though. You will need to hold him down once more while Soji reboots the probes. Hugh is not … fond of the process. He doesn’t like anyone or anything touching his wrist implant.”

“Why?” Elnor asked.

Beverly let out a heavy sigh and wiped a hand over her tired face. “It brings back bad memories for him. When he was still a Borg the implant on his wrist was used during regeneration. It connected him to the cube and the Collective.”

_Oh_ , Elnor thought, his gaze falling once more to the small, inconspicuous implant on Hugh’s wrist he hadn’t even noticed before Soji had shown it to him. No wonder Hugh had been terrified to access the systems of the Artifact back in the Queen Cell. He was not only scared of being tempted to use its power, he was scared of being lured back into the Collective. It made Elnor feel even more terrible for asking him to do it.

Behind Soji, the replicator pinged, announcing that the antidote was finally ready. Soji took the hypospray out of it and didn’t waste any time pressing it to Hugh’s neck and releasing the substance into his bloodstream. She glanced up at Beverly, and a look of quiet understanding passed between them before Soji reached for the nanoprobe device.

Once more, Elnor used his upper body to hold Hugh down. His hands came up to cradle Hugh’s face gently but firmly. The skin beneath his fingers was still hot and clammy, and when Soji grabbed Hugh’s wrist Elnor was the only one to hear him mumble a quiet, helpless, “No.”

“Elnor, get ready,” Soji warned.

A moment later Hugh’s whole body _flinched_. Elnor had expected him to scream, to fight with all his might against him – and he did, but only for a few horrible seconds. His struggles ceased as suddenly as they had begun and Elnor looked over at Soji, wondering if the whole process could already be over.

It wasn’t. She still had Hugh’s right arm in an unforgiving hold and the device pressed against the implant in his wrist, sending shockwave after shockwave through his body. Elnor couldn’t feel them but the cut-off screams from a few seconds ago left no doubt that Hugh could.

“Why has he stopped fighting?” Elnor asked, cautiously easing up a little on the pressure he had been putting on Hugh’s body to hold him still.

Up on the screen, Beverly’s face looked grim. “You can let him go now,” she said quietly. “He won’t struggle anymore.”

Elnor frowned at her. “What does that mean? Why has he stopped?”

“Elnor,” Soji said softly.

There was something about the tone of her voice that made Elnor turn towards her. Her eyes held his for a moment before they shifted down to Hugh’s face. Confused, Elnor followed her gaze, and froze.

Hugh was still unconscious, that much was clear immediately. His eyes, both organic and prosthetic, were closed and his face was relaxed as if he were merely asleep. He looked so peaceful Elnor would have thought the worst over if it hadn’t been for the tears silently, horribly, running down the right side of Hugh’s face.

“The nanoprobes are paralyzing his body,” Beverly explained quietly from somewhere far away, her voice barely audible over the roaring in Elnor’s ears.

_No_ , Elnor thought numbly. _No._ This couldn’t be happening.

“It’s … it’s a side-effect of the reboot,” Beverly went on. “We never found out why they’re doing it or how–“ She shook her head, cutting herself off mid-sentence. “It doesn’t matter. The fact is, he’s not struggling anymore because he _can’t_.”

Elnor felt sick. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the tears, the only sign of Hugh’s silent suffering. He was hurting, in so much pain he was crying even though he was unconscious, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Seeing Hugh like this broke something in him and helplessly, Elnor reached for his limp, unresponsive hand and cradled it close to his heart.

“How much longer?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Two minutes,” Soji said solemnly.

It might as well have been an eternity. For Hugh it probably felt like it was. He didn’t show any kind of physical reaction when Soji finally disconnected the nanoprobe device from his wrist, effectively ending the current of shockwaves. His face remained calm and impassive, almost scarily relaxed.

The tears kept falling.

Elnor felt dread pool in his stomach.

“He’s still paralyzed,” he realized.

Up on the screen, Beverly nodded. “It sometimes takes up to an hour until the effects of the reboot fade,” she said before turning to Soji. “Soji, can you take Hugh’s vitals again, please?”

Elnor found himself tracking the movement of the medical tricorder as Soji moved it once more over Hugh’s unresponsive body. It was better than staring at the damp trail of tears that still marked the right side of Hugh’s face and refused to dry. In that moment Elnor would rather have listened to Hugh scream again than watch him suffer in forced silence for even one second longer. The only thing about this whole situation that brought him at least a little bit of comfort was the fact that Hugh was, thankfully, still unconscious. Elnor didn’t even want to imagine how much worse this would be with Hugh awake and aware of what was being done to him.

“His readings are improving,” Soji said, pulling Elnor from of his thoughts. There was a small tentative smile on her face when she looked up from her tricorder.

Beverly answered it with a tired smile of her own. “That means the nanoprobes are doing their job. Let’s give them a few more minutes but I think Hugh’s body can handle being sedated now.”

Elnor knew then that he wasn’t needed anymore but nothing in the universe could have forced him from Hugh’s side after what he had just witnessed. He watched quietly as Soji injected a sedative into Hugh’s bloodstream and could have wept when the silent tears finally stopped rolling down Hugh’s cheek.

The next hour was a blur. Elnor continued to hold Hugh’s hand, and he stroked his fingers through Hugh’s damp hair so it wouldn’t stick to his forehead. He kept talking to him, whispering things he knew neither of them would remember by the time Hugh would wake up but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t about the words – it was about letting Hugh know that he wasn’t alone, that Elnor hadn’t left him like he’d feared.

So Elnor kept talking and touching and comforting in any way he could think of while Beverly filled the makeshift operating room with background noise as she talked Soji through the bloody process of removing the blades. And somewhere in the back corner of his mind Elnor prayed that when morning came, when all of this was over, Hugh would still be the same person Elnor had met just a few hours ago, that the horrors of this day wouldn’t leave a permanent mark on his soul.

He hoped Hugh was spared that at least, if nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have spent the last three days finishing and editing this monster of a chapter. I'm still not 100 % happy with it but I'm tired and I really wanted to post it today, so here it is. I hope you enjoy it! Depening on how long chapter 3 will turn out to be it might take me another couple of weeks to write it. Sorry for that in advance. 
> 
> Have a great (Easter) Sunday! Sending much love to the Hugh Crew! <3


	3. Helping

**Chapter 3: Helping**

It was dark outside – not the oppressive gloomy darkness Elnor’s eyes had been forced to adjust to on the Artifact but the gentle darkness of a night sky lit up by a thousand stars. Elnor might not have known their names or what constellations the people of Nepenthe recognized when they looked up at the universe above them but that didn’t lessen the comfort he found in the familiar glow.

Starlight, Elnor felt, was always the same no matter where one went. It was constant and seemed unchanging, unlike most other things in the galaxy, like the color of the sky for example. He still remembered how Zani had taught him about different atmospheres, and how they could make the sky appear yellow or pink or orange instead of the blue he was used to, depending on the gasses they contained. He’d been fascinated by her lessons, taking in everything Zani told him about the different colors of leaves one could find in the galaxy (most of them were green, but sometimes they could be red or even a brilliant blue) or the variety of lifeforms, both living and extinct (some so different from humanoid that he had a hard time imagining how they could possibly have moved with so many legs and joints).

The countless worlds out there, Elnor had discovered, were as different and ever-changing as the people inhabiting them. They could have one sun and moon like Earth, or two moons like the planet Soji was looking for. But no matter how many orbs filled their skies at night, the glow of starlight was the same everywhere in the galaxy, even if the stars creating it weren’t.

Elnor was glad for that one single constant in his life. It had helped him get used to life on Vashti when he was forced to relocate there after the supernova of the Romulan sun destroyed not only Romulus but made most other planets in the vicinity uninhabitable. Elnor knew he had been lucky to have been evacuated before the catastrophe hit, but that knowledge did nothing to mend the cracks in his heart caused by the loss of his family and home. He couldn’t remember how many nights he’d spent gazing up at the stars above Vashti, yearning so much for his mother’s touch, his father’s music and his little sister’s laugh that his chest ached. There had been days when he’d thought their absence would never stop hurting.

Later, after time had passed and begun to heal some of his wounds, Picard had come to Vashti and started spending some of his precious time with him. Elnor’s longing had changed when Picard began to teach him things the Qowat Milat couldn’t. He had spun tales so different from Romulan storytelling that Elnor couldn’t help but be intrigued. He’d yearned for more, so much so that when he looked up at the moon and the stars at night it wasn’t only his family he was wishing for anymore. He began to wonder when Picard would come back again, always hoping that the next time he visited he would finally ask Elnor to come with him and leave Vashti behind.

But years passed, and no matter how hard Elnor trained, how long he looked at the stars, or how much he hoped for a familiar face to visit, Picard didn’t come. Birthdays passed, one after another, and Elnor grew both in body and in mind. He began to realize that Picard would never return for him, that his company hadn’t meant as much to Picard as Picard’s had to him, and the disappointment he’d felt had hurt and made him angry.

And yet, there were still nights, most often after particularly trying days filled with difficult training exercises Elnor couldn’t get right no matter how often he tried, that he looked up at the stars and couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was wrong about Picard, if maybe Picard hadn’t forgotten about him at all and would return again one day.

And in the end, he did. Picard came back for him just like Elnor had always hoped he would, but it had taken him years to do so, half of Elnor’s life to be precise, and by the time they met again Elnor’s hurt and disappointment ran so deep that their reunion was nothing like the happy occasion Elnor used to imagine as a child. He’d been so angry at Picard for first giving him hope and then letting him down when he’d needed him the most, and he had not held back any of the lingering resentment he felt. He had wanted Picard to see the cracks of his heart that had never truly healed. He wanted him to realize the pain he had caused with his absence, and he hadn’t held any of it back. It had been satisfying to see how much his standoffish actions had rattled and surprised his old mentor that day.

But there was one thing Elnor hadn’t counted on when he saw Picard again: underneath all the anger and hurt he felt almost desperately happy and relieved to be asked to help. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice kept saying, _He hasn’t forgotten about you,_ and Elnor realized that in some ways he was still that little boy he used to be, the one who was desperate to chase silly childhood dreams and wanted nothing more than to visit worlds beyond his imagination. It was that part of him Picard’s presence filled with hope again, and that old foolish spark burned brighter and hotter than ever before.

Elnor knew he could ignore it. He could stay on Vashti and live the life he was used to, slowly suffocating the hopeful embers within himself until they cooled and hardened forever. It would be a satisfying life, but not a happy one. He would always have to live with the knowledge that he could have had what he’d always dreamt of if he’d just reached for it instead of letting the opportunity pass him by out of lingering resentment. Choosing to stay would mean growing old in a place he liked but had never truly belonged in, always being haunted by two simple words: _what if_.

A life full of bitterness and regret wasn’t what Elnor wanted, so he reigned in his anger and chose to focus on all the good memories he’d had with Picard over the years. He remembered joy and hope and happiness. He remembered fencing together and reading books at night and not feeling like an outsider for once. It was those moments he reminded himself of when he made his decision to follow Picard into space despite all the hurt the admiral had caused him in the past. It also helped that Picard’s cause was just and noble and good, and just hopeless enough for Elnor to justify binding his sword to it.

Elnor wasn’t naive, though, no matter what most people liked to think. He was aware that, apart from childhood dreams and lost causes, he’d mainly followed Picard because he was looking for a purpose, a place where he belonged and where just being Elnor was enough. He didn’t want to be the Romulan boy the Qowat Milat took pity on for the rest of his life, the one who learned and trained and exceled, and still would never be one of them.

He wanted _more_.

It hadn’t taken him long to realize that _La Sirena_ was not the place where he would find what he was looking for.

Elnor might have become a member of the crew when he came on board with Picard but that didn’t mean he was truly a part of it. His presence was accepted and tolerated but he had a feeling he was neither truly wanted nor needed. He’d tried to befriend the others by joining conversations whenever he could and by asking questions when he didn’t understand something (and there were many things, Elnor had realized, that he didn’t know, had never even heard of – sometimes so many he didn’t even know where to start learning), but no matter how hard he tried to fit in, in the end he hadn’t been able to form even one real connection, not even with Picard although he had known him for years already.

The people on _La Sirena_ were kind and a little bit broken, each in their own way – just like Elnor was. Most of the time they pretended not to like each other much, yet there was an obvious bond between them, one that had been formed long before Elnor had come onboard. He could see it in the way Rios followed Raffi to her room when she was upset but didn’t want anyone to know; he saw it on those evenings when Dr. Jurati sought out Rios and smiled at him, sweetly and just a little bit hopeful; and he saw it in the way Picard’s eyes sometimes filled with regret when Raffi turned his back on him, stumbling out of the room in search for another bottle of liquor without acknowledging him at all.

They were a mismatched group of lonely people, a family in every sense of the word even though they didn’t share the same blood, and Elnor was the one who came into it too late, the one who remained on the outside looking in despite his best efforts to become a part of it. Maybe he failed because he was still young and had seen so very little compared to everyone else, or maybe it was because his Way of Absolute Candor tended to make people who were not used to it uncomfortable. Whatever it was didn’t change the fact that _La Sirena_ was an empty dream for him – just one more place he didn’t fit in and didn’t belong.

And then he had met Hugh.

Elnor smiled, tired but happy, and gave his friend’s hand a careful squeeze, mindful not to touch the metal implant protruding from the pale skin of Hugh’s wrist. Yesterday, when he’d sneaked onboard the Artifact, Elnor’s sole intention had been to protect Picard and Soji and cover their escape, if need be with his life. That Hugh was there at all was nothing more than a coincidence, a chance meeting, and when Elnor bought him the time he needed to hide the Queen’s Cell he did it not for Hugh’s sake but to ensure Picard and Soji’s safety.

And yet, even though they had just met, he and Hugh had worked surprisingly well together. So well, in fact, that Elnor had felt sad when they parted ways not long after the Queen’s Cell was hidden once more. There had been an immediate connection between them, an instinctive understanding of each other that Elnor had never experienced before. With Hugh, conversation was remarkably easy compared to Elnor’s experiences on _La Sirena_ , and letting that go, letting _Hugh_ go, had been surprisingly hard at the time.

Had he known in that moment what would happen only a few hours later, Elnor would have trusted his instincts and never left Hugh’s side. If he’d just stayed like he’d wanted to he never would have found Hugh sitting shellshocked in front of the lifeless bodies of his people, an empty look of utter hopelessness on his face. He wouldn’t have had to reach out his hand to him and pull him up and away from the gruesome sight, and he wouldn’t have had to promise to never let something like this happen again. He could have prevented it all if he’d made the decision to fight with Hugh, to fight _for_ Hugh, just a little sooner.

Zani had always told him to trust his instincts.

“Listen to your heart, Elnor,” she used to say. “It will guide you unfailingly to where you are needed most.”

Elnor hadn’t fully understood her back then, young and sheltered as he had been, but he did now. Binding his sword to Picard had been a mistake – not because the cause wasn’t hopeless or noble enough but because Elnor had done it for his own selfish reasons. It had never been about the cause at all. He’d only had his own interests at heart when he chose to follow Picard on his mission to find and save Soji, and even though that didn’t lessen his conviction to see things through to the end, Elnor had to admit his heart wasn’t truly in it.

With Hugh, things were different. Seeing the devastation and hopelessness on Hugh’s face as he sat alone on the ground, surrounded by the dead bodies of the people he cared so much about, Elnor had felt something within him shift and fall into place. Here was someone who truly needed him, who had no chance of protecting himself and his people without help. Hugh fought his battles with careful words, not with swords or phasers. Reaching out to him and staying with him had felt right in a way binding himself to Picard’s cause hadn’t. Even now, after the exhaustion of the day’s events had settled so heavily in his bones that he felt too tired to sleep, Elnor was certain he would never regret his decision to help Hugh.

Hugh was special, unlike anyone he had ever met, and Elnor would gladly face many sleepless nights if that meant Hugh would be okay.

Both Deanna and Picard had urged him to get some rest earlier, after the surgery was over and Hugh was put in the bed in Deanna’s guest room. Even though Elnor had a feeling any attempt to sleep would be fruitless, he’d gone and laid down on the cot in Hugh’s room, if only for their sakes. Now, over an hour later he was still awake, too restless and worried to sleep because his mind couldn’t stop going through all the things that could have gone wrong the day before. He had already tried meditating to calm his thoughts, but that hadn’t brought him any peace either. Every so often, he found himself looking over at Hugh on the other side of the room, his hands itching to reach out and touch soft skin to reassure himself that Hugh was still there, still alive and breathing, and that his stillness came from a deep, healing sleep instead of unconsciousness caused by poisoning or nanoprobe-induced paralysis.

In the end, his need for reassurance that Hugh was all right became so great that Elnor couldn’t help himself and gave into it. That had been half an hour ago, shortly after the clock in the living room struck midnight. He’s been sitting at Hugh’s side ever since, holding his hand carefully between his palms and staring up at the beautiful night sky over Nepenthe. Now that he could feel Hugh’s cool skin beneath his fingers, the storm in his mind finally calmed down. Where before his thoughts had been chaotic and in worried disarray, now they had settled down in a calm quiet. Beneath it was a feeling of utter relief that allowed him to breathe both deeply and evenly, in tune with his heartbeat, because Hugh was _okay_. 

Not well, of course, but already a lot better than he’d been a few hours ago, and Elnor was more than grateful for that. While Hugh’s face still looked pale in the moonlight, his skin was no longer clammy and flushed with fever, and the lines on his face were relaxed in sleep instead of drawn in pain like before. The antidote was working, and the nanoprobes were doing their job to stabilize his vitals as hoped. With the Zhat Vash blades finally removed, the wounds they had caused were now hidden beneath thick gauze and bandages, still bleeding sluggishly through the sutures despite the technology available to them and Soji’s best attempts to put pressure on them.

“It’s all right,” Beverly had reassured them earlier. “The nanoprobes will do the rest. It’ll just take a little time.”

Time was something they had plenty of now, Elnor knew, but he still worried about so many things – Hugh’s health, both mental and physical, foremost. For one, the nanoprobes in Hugh’s body would have to be deactivated again at some point or Hugh would have to start regenerating regularly. Elnor already dreaded the moment because this time around Hugh would be conscious during the procedure. But since there was no way around it, all Elnor could hope for was that it wouldn’t be as traumatizing as the reboot process had been.

The nanoprobes weren’t the only thing Elnor was worried about. There was also the matter of Hugh’s recovery. Even with the nanoprobes and the antidote, Beverly had told them it would take a few days at least until Hugh would be back on his feet. Elnor had a feeling that Hugh would not agree with that assessment. Hugh struck him as someone who would want to return to his people and his duties as soon as possible, fully recovered or not. People who cared too much about others and too little about themselves always acted like this. A part of Elnor understood that and even admired Hugh for his commitment to his cause and his people, but another part of him didn’t want Hugh to go back to the dark, hollow halls of the Artifact – preferably never again, but at the very least not before he was fully healed and had time to process what had happened to him. After everything he’d been through Hugh deserved a break and a chance to rest and enjoy a few carefree days under a warm sun and gentle night sky instead of the artificial light and cold impersonal hallways of a Borg cube.

Elnor wanted to give him that. He wanted Hugh to see this world, to look at all the hues of green and orange and blue Nepenthe had to offer and allow himself to be amazed by their beauty just like he had been upon their arrival on the planet. He wanted Hugh to feel the wind against his skin, the grass beneath his feet and the water between his fingers. He wanted to see Hugh’s eyes light up in wonder instead of being dulled by pain and grief, and he wanted Hugh to smile at him until his eyes crinkled with happiness.

Elnor knew Hugh would never agree to stay away from his people for longer than necessary, though, not when he knew they were still in danger and he could do something about that. No amount of reasoning would keep him on Nepenthe as long as the xBs were still at the mercy of the Zhat Vash with no one looking out for them. And even if they somehow managed to make him stay by force, Hugh’s mind would find neither peace nor rest here. He would still worry, and he’d feel guilty for abandoning his people in the first place.

Elnor let out a heavy sigh. Almost absentmindedly, he started stroking his thumb over the back of Hugh’s hand in small circles. He was probably the only person who could truly relate to Hugh’s need to protect the xBs, even if that protection came at the cost of his own health or life. They were not so different in that regard. In a sense, Hugh had bound himself to his people just like Elnor had bound himself to Hugh. That made the xBs Elnor’s people now, in a way, and just like Hugh he wanted to go back and protect them with whatever means was necessary.

But more than that he wanted to protect _Hugh_. He wanted to make sure that Hugh was all right and took the time he needed to heal before he faced the harsh reality of life on the Artifact again. Elnor had no doubt that Hugh would be capable of providing safety and stability to his people even while still recovering from his own ordeal. He knew Hugh could do all that and so much more because he had seen his resolve and dedication with his own two eyes, but the thing was: Elnor didn’t want him to have to do that. He didn’t want Hugh to always have to think of others first, to make sacrifices left and right for the sake of his people, because that wasn’t fair to him.

It wasn’t.

Hugh deserved to have someone in his life who put him first for once. He deserved to have someone who cared, someone who made him smile when he was down and who was there for him when things became too much, and Elnor wanted nothing more than to be that person. But at the same time, he knew that Hugh needed more than that, more than Elnor could give him. For months, maybe even years, Hugh had carried the weight of the Reclamation Project alone on his shoulders. He’d been the only person in charge, unable to share his responsibilities and worries with anyone while having to work beneath ever-watchful Romulan eyes and in the presence of the Tal Shiar.

Things couldn’t go on like that. Something had to change. Hugh needed a colleague, a Co-Director – someone he could rely on when it came to the treatment and care of the xBs and share both the administrative and personal responsibilities of the project with. Elnor knew that person had to be someone Hugh trusted, someone who was not only familiar with the troubles the xBs faced in their day-to-day lives but who also understood what they were going through and empathized with their struggles.

Elnor couldn’t be that person, having never been Borg himself, but he knew someone who could.

_Seven._

If anyone would be able to protect the xBs in a time like this, it would be her.

Elnor smiled to himself, happy to have found a solution to Hugh’s problem. Now he just had to find a way to contact Seven, and she would know how to handle the rest.

He gave Hugh’s hand a careful squeeze and whispered, “I will be back in a moment.”

Ignoring the ache in his bones and muscles, Elnor slowly pushed himself up from the bed. Silently, just like Zani had taught him, he stepped out of the room, leaving the door halfway open so he’d be able to hear Hugh in case he would wake up. Not that Elnor thought that would happen – Beverly had assured them that he wouldn’t wake until morning – but he felt it was better to be safe than sorry.

Even though the house was dark Elnor had no trouble finding his way to the kitchen thanks to the moonlight streaming in through the windows. The room had been cleaned of blood and there was no sign of all the medical equipment that had lined the counters earlier. The table was decorated with a pale, yellow tablecloth, and on it stood a simple white vase with yellow flowers which emitted a faint citrus smell and glowed faintly in the dark. Nothing indicated that an emergency surgery had taken place here only a few hours ago, and Elnor was glad for it. The images of Hugh lying on that table, paralyzed and crying in silent pain, had already burned themselves into his mind. He didn’t need a visual reminder of that horrible ordeal.

His gaze wandered to the screen up on the wall. It was dark. Inactive. With a hushed command, he changed that. “Computer, activate screen.”

The screen lit up at the same time a voice behind him said, “This doesn’t look like getting some sleep to me.”

Elnor whirled around to find Deanna leaning against the wall. Pink pajamas peaked out from under her dark blue dressing gown, and her feet were bare on the wooden floor. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest and was looking at him expectantly, but the moonlight betrayed the amusement lighting up her eyes.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Elnor admitted. “I’ve tried,” he added hurriedly, not wanting her to think he hadn’t, “but I find it difficult to … silence my thoughts.”

Deanna uncrossed her arms. “You are worried about Hugh,” she stated and Elnor nodded. “Beverly said the surgery went well. I know you don’t know her but you can trust her word. She’s one of the best doctors Starfleet has.”

Elnor sighed. “It’s not that. I know Hugh is getting better. I can see it,” he said, remembering the peaceful look on Hugh’s face and the coolness of his skin beneath his fingertips, so different from the fire burning through his veins just hours ago. “I worry about what comes after,” he admitted. “He will want to go back to the Artifact.”

“His people are there,” Deanna reminded him. “It is his home.”

She said it as if it were matter-of-fact, but her words didn’t sit right with Elnor.

“That place is not a home,” he argued “It is cold and dark and there is no joy to be found there.” He shook his head, taking a deep breath. “But that’s not what I mean. I know we will go back, but I worry he will want to return before he’s ready. I fear he might neglect his own wellbeing because he feels duty-bound to his people.”

“I see,” Deanna said. She was quiet for a moment, looking up at the Starfleet logo on the lit-up screen with a far-away look in her eyes. When she spoke again, her tone was thoughtful. “Hugh has always been very dedicated to his people. I don’t know if anyone told you this but his individuality caused a lot of damage to the Borg on his cube when he was re-assimilated all those years. It spread through the drones like a disease, and they suffered because of it. They were cut off from the Collective and overwhelmed by their newfound individuality. Some couldn’t cope at all. Hugh feels responsible for that. It’s not his fault, of course,” she added before Elnor could protest. “He became Hugh because of us, and we were the ones who sent him back.” She paused. “We never should have let him leave.”

“Then why did you?” Elnor asked, not understanding.

Deanna looked over at him with a sad smile. “Because he wanted to. It was Hugh’s decision to go, and he did it to keep the _Enterprise_ safe from the Borg.” She let out a long breath. “To be honest, Elnor, he was doing exactly what we wanted. One of the reasons we brought him onboard in the first place was because we thought we could use him to introduce a virus to the Borg Collective. We didn’t plan on him to regain his individuality, we didn’t expect him to form friendships, but he did, thanks to Beverly and Geordi, and it was this newly regained sense of self that proved to be deadlier than any virus we could have come up with.”

“Did you know all this at the time?” Elnor asked. “When you let him go?”

Regret passed like a shadow over Deanna’s face. “We knew there was a possibility his individuality would cause problems for the Borg, yes.”

“And you didn’t tell him,” Elnor pressed, feeling the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place.

“No,” Deanna confirmed his suspicions. “We didn’t. We let him go back because the Borg were our enemy and we had nothing to lose. If his individuality survived the re-assimilation process, we would have landed a strike against the Borg. If it didn’t, then one Borg drone more or less on their side wouldn’t have mattered much in the grand scheme of things.”

“But Hugh wasn’t Borg anymore,” Elnor protested. “He was _Hugh_ , and you still let him go back. You gave him to your enemy. How _could_ you?”

“I have asked myself that a lot over the years,” Deanna said, her voice filled with regret, “Especially when I see how far he has come since then. I’m afraid I haven’t found an answer yet.”

Elnor stared at her, shaking his head. “What you did was wrong,” he said.

His voice left no room for argument and Deanna acknowledged that with a nod. “You’re right. But I can’t change what happened, Elnor, no matter how much I wish we had acted differently and given him the support he had needed at the time. All I can do now is make sure we do not repeat the same mistakes again.“

Elnor met her gaze head-on. “I wouldn’t let you,” he told her, unconsciously standing up straighter.

To his surprise, Deanna’s eyes softened with the beginnings of a smile. “I know, Elnor. I’m glad Hugh has someone like you in his life now. Someone who looks out for him and only has his best interests at heart.”

Unexpectedly, Elnor felt heat rising up in his cheeks at the praise, and he was glad the light in the room was dim enough to hide the green tinge of his skin.

“His wellbeing is very important to me,” he said a little stiffly, glancing over her shoulder at the door that led to the guest room. “I admire what he’s trying to do, and I cannot understand why not more people want to help him. His task is a difficult but honorable one. He’s helping people heal, Deanna.”

“I know,” she said quietly.

“But he can’t do it on his own,” Elnor insisted. “I will help him with it for as long as he will allow it, but–” Elnor paused, gathering his thoughts. “I fear I will not be enough.”

Deanna frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

“Back on the Artifact, Hugh was so worried about his people that he didn’t want to leave, even though he was gravely injured,” Elnor confessed. “I think he needs someone with whom he can share the responsibilities of the Reclamation Project, and that person can only be someone who understands the xBs like he does. I don’t, and I never will because I’m not like him.” He bit his lip and took a steadying breath. “I don’t want him to be the leader or the director all the time. I want him to be _just Hugh_. He should be allowed to take a break from his job every once in a while, just like everyone else does, shouldn’t he?”

Deanna sighed. “In an ideal world? Yes,” she said. “But what you’re forgetting is that Hugh was the first. If he hadn’t stepped up to the task and fought for his people, no one would have. He didn’t really have a choice.”

“But he’s not the only one anymore,” Elnor argued. “There are others like him. I’ve met one of them. Her name is Seven.”

Deanna’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’ve met Seven of Nine?”

Elnor nodded. “She travelled with us on _La Sirena_ not too long ago.”

“So that’s why you’re still up in the middle of the night,” Deanna said. “You were trying to contact her.”

“Yes,” Elnor said. “But, to be honest, I do not know how. Do you? I really think she could help.”

Deanna looked at him for a moment without saying anything, and her expression reminded Elnor of the way Zani used to look at him when he figured out the solution to a particularly difficult test. It was a mixture of pride and wonder, and it gave him hope.

“Seven is a good person,” Deanna finally said with a smile. “A little volatile, perhaps,” she admitted, “but her heart is in the right place. She cares about the xBs just as much as Hugh does – just differently. She has her own way, as I’m sure you’ve seen. It might not be as gentle and hopeful as Hugh’s is but it is just as necessary.” She crossed the distance between them until she stood right next to Elnor and looked up at the still-lit screen. “I don’t know how to reach her directly but I know someone who does. Computer: contact Admiral Janeway.”

It took several seconds for the call to go through. Elnor had no idea who Admiral Janeway was, only that she seemed to know Seven well enough to be one of only a few people who apparently knew how to contact her directly. Their paths must have diverted at some point, and Elnor couldn’t help but wonder what had happened for Seven to turn her back on Starfleet if one of her closest friends was an admiral.

He didn’t have time to ponder that thought for long. The face of a woman appeared on the screen, and the gentle hues of a sunrise visible in the window behind her lit up Deanna’s kitchen from lightyears away. She wore a grey uniform with dark patches accentuating her shoulders and sides, and a red undershirt hugged her neck. Her grey hair was pulled back neatly into a bun so that it didn’t obscure her expressive face. She looked kind, Elnor thought, but at the same time there seemed to be a fierceness hidden beneath her smooth appearance that Elnor would rather not be on the receiving end of.

“Counsellor,” Janeway greeted formally with an inclination of her head, but the small smile she couldn’t quite hide betrayed her genuine happiness. “What can I do for you this early in the morning?” She looked briefly to her side. “Or late at night, as it is in your case if I’m not mistaken.”

“You’re not,” Deanna smiled back at her, and there was a familiarity in the look they exchanged that told Elnor they had known each other for a very long time and were, despite the professionalism they portrayed, most likely friends. “Good morning, Admiral. I hope we are not disturbing you?”

Janeway shook her head. “Not at all. I haven’t had any coffee yet but for you I can abstain a little longer,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. Then her expression became serious again. “Now, as much as I’d like to catch up with you, I assume, given the hour, that this is not merely a social call.” Deanna confirmed her suspicions with a nod and Janeway’s gaze shifted to Elnor. “If I would have to guess, I’d say this has something to do with you, young man. What is your name?”

Her words, though friendly enough, were spoken with the kind of authority Elnor was familiar with from the Qowat Milat. Instinctively, he stood up a little straighter. “My name is Elnor, Admiral. We are calling because I wish for you to contact Seven of Nine.”

He could hear Deanna sigh under her breath, not unlike Raffi or Rios tended to react when he was being too honest, but before he could apologize and explain the Way of Absolute Candor to the admiral, Janeway let out a surprised chuckle. “Seven?” she asked, leaning back in her chair with a thoughtful look. “Now you have me intrigued. Why would you need to contact Seven of Nine of all people?”

“Because the xBs need her help.”

Elnor told her about Hugh, the Artifact and the Zhat Vash as briefly as possible. During his tale the amused smile vanished from Janeway’s face and a worried frown replaced it.

“This wouldn’t, by any chance, have anything to do with Admiral Picard’s request to investigate the death of one Dahj Asha?” she asked once Elnor had finished.

Elnor was about to confirm her suspicions when he felt Deanna’s hand on his arm. Deanna shook her head subtly, telling him without words that this was not the time for the truth. He bit his lip, letting her speak instead.

“This is about Hugh and the Reclamation Project,” she said, meeting Janeway’s piercing gaze head-on. “Not about Picard.”

Janeway studied her for a moment in silence before she raised one delicate eyebrow. “And how does a young Romulan who studied the way of the Qowat Milat land himself first on the Artifact and then in your home, Counsellor?”

Elnor glanced over at Deanna uncertainly, holding his breath. To his surprise, Deanna remained calm and simply shrugged. “Sometimes, things just happen.”

“I’m sure they do,” Janeway said in a tone that made it clear she didn’t believe one word of what Deanna had said. Then she sighed and her face softened, and Elnor knew she would let the topic rest for now. “Admiral Picard is very lucky to have such good friends looking out for him. And speaking of friends: how is Hugh now?”

When Deanna nodded at him in encouragement, Elnor said, “He’s getting better. His fever’s broken and we were able to remove the blades from his body. He’s resting now,” he added, once more glancing at the open door. “But the xBs on the Artifact – they’re without protection at the moment. The Zhat Vash operative has already murdered some of them, and I have no doubt she will do so again.”

Janeway nodded grimly. “I’m afraid you might be right about that. We should have never allowed them to work on the cube,” she muttered under her breath before reaching for a padd. Elnor watched as her fingers moved rapidly over the small screen. “Hugh is a Federation citizen. By attacking him, they’ve started a fight they can’t possibly hope to win.” She looked up, and in her eyes he saw the same fierce protectiveness he felt for Hugh reflected back at him. “I need a full report from both you and Hugh on this – the sooner the better. I can only propose an official investigation into the matter to the Federation once I have proof.”

“You will get it as soon as Hugh is awake and feels up to it,” Elnor promised.

“Good,” Janeway said. “I’ve already sent a message to Seven about what happened. She really won’t be happy about setting foot on the Artifact,” she added with a grimace.

Elnor could relate to that, having seen the place. “But she will do it?”

“For Hugh?” Janeway smiled. “Oh yes, in a heartbeat. Don’t worry: she might not like it one bit, but she will take care of the xBs until Hugh is ready to come back.” Just on the lower edge of the screen Elnor could see her typing out another message on the padd. “And she won’t be alone. The _Asclepius_ is already in the area, and I’m sending her to assist Seven, provide medical help to the xBs and assess the situation for the Federation.”

Deanna leaned in close to Elnor. “That’s Beverly’s ship.”

Elnor’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Captain Crusher is one of our leading experts when it comes to Borg physiology,” Janeway explained. “Hugh’s people will be in the best of hands while he recovers.”

That was more than Elnor could have hoped for. Beverly and Seven were Hugh’s friends. If anything could ease his mind about the wellbeing of his people, it would be their presence on the cube. He looked up at Janeway, and his heart filled with both gratitude and relief. The feeling was so overwhelming he found himself unable to put it into words, so he settled for a simple but heartfelt, “Thank you, Admiral,” accompanied by a humble bow.

Janeway’s smile softened. “You are welcome, Elnor. Thank _you_ for contacting me about this. I’m glad I can help.”

Before she could say anything more a slightly muffled voice called from the background, “Kathryn? Breakfast is ready! Or coffee, as you like to call it!”

“Just a moment, Chakotay!” Janeway called back over her shoulder. Her eyes moved between Elnor and Deanna. “I will notify you when Seven and Captain Crusher have arrived on the Artifact. Please give Hugh my best regards, and tell him that I would like to speak with him once he feels up to it.”

Elnor and Deanna nodded. “We’ll let him know.”

Janeway smiled. “Thank you. Now, given the hour, I think it’s time for you to sleep and for me to start the day. Remember,” she added, “the sooner you send me those reports, the sooner the Federation can take legal action against the Zhat Vash.”

“You will have mine tomorrow,” Elnor promised.

“Good lad,” Janeway said. “I’m sure we’ll talk again soon. Have a good night.”

“And you a good day, Admiral,” Deanna said.

Janeway gave them another smile. “Thank you. Janeway out.”

The screen went dark, and with it the kitchen. For a moment, Elnor and Deanna stood side by side in silence as their eyes adjusted.

“I’d say that went pretty well,” Deanna remarked finally while gently bumping her shoulder into Elnor’s with a smile. “Well done.”

Her praise settled around Elnor’s shoulders like a warm, comforting blanket. She was right: the call had gone pretty well. Seven was now on her way to the Artifact, as was Beverly. They would help the xBs, both in their own ways, and Hugh wouldn’t have to worry about his people while he recovered. He knew they would be safe in their hands, because Seven and Beverly were his friends and he trusted them.

Just like that, the worries that had kept him up for the last few hours fell away from him. The feeling of relief was so overwhelming that a lump suddenly formed in Elnor’s throat, and before he knew what he was doing he was turning towards Deanna and wrapping his arms around her. “Thank you so much for helping me,” he whispered into her shoulder.

“Oh Elnor,” Deanna said softly, and her breath gently tickled his skin. “Anytime,” she promised as she brought up her arms to hold him close, and Elnor had to blink hard against the burning sensation in his eyes. “Anytime.”

He had no idea how long they stood there in the dark – her barefoot on the floor and him trying not to cry – but when he pulled back, he felt better than before – lighter, somehow, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

He supposed it had.

“Thank you,” he said once more, bowing his head in gratitude.

Deanna squeezed his shoulder in acknowledgment. Her fingers lingered on the fabric of his tunic and her gaze turned thoughtful. “You might want to change into the pajamas I laid out for you before going to bed,” she suggested quietly. “Might be more comfortable.”

Elnor blinked at her. “You laid out clothes for me?”

“They’re on the desk in the corner,” Deanna said. Then, gently, she added, “You didn’t even notice, did you?”

Elnor shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Deanna said. “I know what it’s like to hold a bedside vigil and be sick with worry.” For a moment, her eyes became vacant with memories only she could see, before she took a deep breath and visibly pulled herself together. “Now, I know it’s late, but would you like to take a shower before changing?” she suggested gently. “It might help you sleep.”

Elnor looked down at his chest, his arms, his hands. The blood was hard to see in the dark but he knew it was there, spattered all over his clothes and staining his skin. He’d tried to wash it off earlier, had been almost frantically scrubbing his hands and wrists to remove any remnant of Hugh’s suffering from his skin, but in his haste to return to Hugh’s side he had missed some spots.

He would love to take a shower, to feel clean once more, but …

His gaze wandered to the open door. Deanna must have seen his indecision and guessed his thoughts, for a moment later she offered, “I will stay with him until you’re done.”

Elnor smiled at her. “Then I would like to take a shower.”

He was quick about it. The warm water relaxed his aching muscles and by the time he was done he felt so exhausted that even putting on the clothes Deanna had given him felt like a task almost too tedious. They were warm and comfortable, though, if a little too big ( _Maybe they are her husband’s?_ Elnor wondered), and when he stepped back into the house, Deanna took one look at him and couldn’t quite hide her smile.

“That’s better,” she said, taking Elnor’s dirty tunic out of his hands. “I’ll give this a wash tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to,” Elnor protested. “I can do it myself.”

Deanna waved his objections away. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I’ve also left you some more clothes on the desk in your room so you have something to wear tomorrow while these,” she held up Elnor’s clothes, “are getting cleaned. Is there anything else you need for tonight?”

Elnor shook his head.

“Then I think it’s time for us both to get some rest,” she said. “I’ve taken the liberty to move your cot next to Hugh’s bed while you were showering. I thought you might like to be a little closer to him.”

Elnor’s heart swelled with gratitude. Deanna had only met him a few hours ago and yet she already seemed to know him well enough to know what to do to make him feel at ease. In that short amount of time she had somehow done more to make him feel welcome and wanted than Picard had in the last few weeks on _La Sirena_ , and that thought made him both happy and sad.

“Thank you,” Elnor said finally. The words felt inadequate for everything she had done for him, but he hoped she understood how truly grateful he was even though he couldn’t properly express that at the moment.

Deanna smiled at him, and he knew she did. “Goodnight, Elnor.”

“Goodnight.”

He stepped into his room and closed the door behind him with a soft click. Hugh was just where he had left him, having seemingly not moved at all while Elnor was gone. Next to the bed, just like Deanna had promised, was Elnor’s cot. He lay down with a sigh, grateful to finally be off his feet. Blindly, his hands reached for the blanket. He pulled it up to his chin before he turned his head to look at Hugh. He was not even an arm’s length away, and still sleeping peacefully. His chest was rising and falling in such a gentle, reassuring rhythm that the sound of his quiet breaths was enough to ease even the last bit of tension in Elnor’s muscles.

Carefully, Elnor turned onto his side and reached out his hand so it lay right next to Hugh’s arm – not close enough to touch but close enough to feel his presence. His fingers curled into the blanket that kept Hugh warm, and with one last look at Hugh’s sleeping face, faintly illuminated by the light of the stars over Nepenthe, Elnor finally allowed his eyes to close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was a pain. I didn't know how to finish it, and I kept editing it so much I haven't done much else the past two weekends. But it's finally done, and I hope the effort was worth it. If not, I'm at least happy that it's finally published and that I can start work on chapter 4 *lol*
> 
> The idea to include Janeway in this actually came from reading the story "there's a sky where we belong" by transpapyrus. If you haven't read it yet, go check it out. I never would have thought of including Janeway if hadn't I read their fic, so thanks transpapyrus for giving me the idea! <3 
> 
> Also, I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for reading this story and leaving kudos and comments! It means so much to me! Also, shout out to the Hugh Crew for the wonderful discussions and crazy fic scenarios we sometimes come up with. Love you, guys!


	4. Waking

**Chapter 4: Waking**

The first light of day was just beginning to cast its soft warmth into the guest room when Elnor opened his eyes the next morning. For a moment he simply stared at the unfamiliar ceiling, not quite grasping where he was or what had woken him up. His thoughts were moving as slowly and sluggishly as molasses and, exhausted as he still was, he had a hard time making sense of his surroundings at first. He blinked once, twice and then a third time in an attempt to try to wake himself up more fully, and finally recognized the wooden structures around him as the house of Picard’s friends, Deanna and Will. 

Slowly, everything that had happened yesterday came back to him. The dark, cold halls of the Artifact, the warmth of Hugh’s hand in his, the icy terror he felt when Hugh closed his eyes and didn’t open them again and the rush of relief that followed when Soji and Beverly managed to treat his wounds and counteract the poison Elnor had failed to protect him from.

Elnor relaxed back into his pillow and closed his eyes. Everything was fine. They’d made it off the Artifact and were safe, far away from Romulan spies and assassins. Hugh was alive and well, or at least getting there, and that was all that mattered.

He was about to fall back asleep when he heard it: a sharp intake of breath, followed by a slow, shuddering exhale.

_Hugh_ , Elnor thought.

Hugh’s breathing sounded carefully controlled – too controlled to be mistaken for the gentle rhythmic pattern of sleep –until the next shaky breath ended on what Elnor could only describe as a barely held-back whimper. Alarmed at once, Elnor’s eyes shot open and he turned his head to the side, towards where Hugh was lying on the bed. All thoughts of sleep were forgotten as his brain and eyes finally caught up with his ears and it hit him that Hugh was awake.

Hugh was _awake_.

From his position on the cot Elnor could only see one of Hugh’s mismatched eyes, the organic one, the one with the color of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night. It was wide open, blinking rapidly at the ceiling yet remaining completely unfocused and glazed over. The sight made Elnor’s stomach drop.

_He still can’t see._

Yesterday, after the surgery was completed and Soji started putting her tools away, Beverly had said it would take time for the nanoprobes to heal all the damage the poison from the Zhat Vash blades had caused. 

“They’re going to start with the life-essential systems and organs,” she’d explained. “Injuries that are not life-threatening will come last.”

At the time, Elnor had known the nanoprobes had a lot of work ahead of them. Hugh had come close to dying thanks to the Zhat Vash. Beverly and Soji might not have put it into words but the matching worry on their faces had told Elnor just how weak Hugh’s grasp on life had truly been. Poison was a vicious enemy, often invisible and discovered too late. Elnor had once seen someone succumb to it, and it hadn’t been pretty.

But even knowing first-hand how much damage poison could do, Elnor had not expected Hugh to wake up and still be blind. He’d thought the nanoprobes would take care of the damage to his optical nerve, never even questioning whether or not eyes were considered life-essential organs. Organisms like humans that depended on sight as their main sense needed their eyes to function and survive. It was as simple as that.

“Target their eyes,” Zani had explained to him years ago at the beginning of his training, “and your enemy will be rendered helpless.”

So Elnor had firmly believed that the nanoprobes would recognize that and repair the damage to Hugh’s optical nerves as soon as possible.

Obviously, the nanoprobes disagreed.

And in a way it made sense, Elnor had to admit now that he thought about it. Because of their ocular implants, most Borg drones probably didn’t need to rely on their organic eye to see, so why should their nanoprobes prioritize that particular healing process? Hugh might not be Borg anymore, but his nanoprobes didn’t know that. They didn’t know his ocular implant was gone, replaced by an artificial eye that served no other purpose than to make Hugh appear more human.

In hindsight, Elnor really should have expected this, should have at least considered the possibility that Hugh might wake up still unable to see. He should have been prepared for this situation – for any situation, always, that’s what Zani taught him – even if none of them had expected Hugh to be awake at all this soon.

“His body needs time to heal,” Soji had told him yesterday, her face drawn and sad. “It’s not just the wounds and the poison – he hasn’t been eating as well as he should have been these last few weeks. All that stress …”

She’d left that sentence hanging, and Elnor could only imagine how hard it must have been for Hugh on the Artifact, essentially friendless while trying to help his people as best as he could without stepping on Romulan toes in the process. He wondered how much of that Soji had witnessed herself, or if she spoke from her own experience of working there.

And yet despite Soji’s assurances that Hugh would at least rest until noon, likely even longer, here Hugh was, awake and blind, and Elnor had no idea what he was supposed to do now. Should he go wake up Soji so she could make sure Hugh was all right? Should he make a call to Beverly instead, in case Soji didn’t know enough about Borg physiology to help if something was wrong? Or was this all completely normal and part of the recovery process if a bit early, in which case all Elnor needed to do was stay with Hugh and keep him company while the nanoprobes finished their work? 

Elnor bit his lip in indecision. He didn’t want to cause alarm if nothing was wrong, but he didn’t want to risk Hugh suffering needlessly and even more than he already had either. Next to him, just within arm’s reach, he could see Hugh taking one carefully controlled breath after another, his chest rising and falling in a too steady rhythm once more. It sounded like he was trying to keep his breathing even by sheer force of will.

Trying, and failing.

Elnor frowned. Something was definitely wrong. Hugh’s whole body was tensing up as if preparing for a fight, and his right hand, the one with the Borg implant on the wrist, was gripping the bedsheets so tightly the knuckles had turned white. The lines around his right eye were more pronounced than Elnor had ever seen them, and when another whimper escaped him, Hugh pressed his lips together so tightly they lost all color.

_He’s panicking_ , Elnor realized, finally recognizing the shallow breathing and trembling for the signs they were.

Unable to take Hugh’s distress any longer, Elnor decided leaving was not an option now. Tentatively, he whispered, “Hugh?”

His voice sounded unnaturally loud in the quiet of the room, and it obviously startled Hugh. Hugh’s body went still at once, and a moment later his breathing hitched horribly. He started gasping for air, his breaths too shallow and too fast, and what little control he’d managed to establish before was gone.

“Hugh?” Elnor tried again, worry twisting his stomach into knots. He knew if he didn’t act now things would go from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. “Your breathing’s too fast,” he stated more calmly than he felt. “I need you to take slow, deep breaths, all right?”

For a moment, the room was quiet except for the wheezing sounds Hugh made. Then–

“Elnor?” Hugh gasped hoarsely. The way he said Elnor’s name, full of disbelief and hope and gut-wrenching relief, tugged painfully at Elnor’s heart.

“Yes, I am here,” he reassured him. “I am right here. Please, Hugh, you have to slow your breathing. You’re scaring me.”

Hugh turned his head in his direction, his unseeing eyes just landing a little bit off to the left of Elnor’s face. He let out another ragged breath, and once more breathed Elnor’s name in sheer relief.

Without thinking, Elnor reached out his hand. With the lightest of touches he allowed his fingers to trail across the back of Hugh’s hand and over his tightly coiled fingers, letting him silently know that he was not only close but within reach. At once, Hugh’s fingers uncurled from the bedsheet and wrapped themselves around his in a tight hold.

Unexpectantly, Elnor’s eyes began to burn when he felt the desperation behind the gesture. He gave Hugh’s hand a squeeze, wishing he could do more. “I am here,” he repeated once more. “It will be all right, just breathe.”

And miraculously, Hugh did. Agonizing seconds and then minutes passed as Hugh took breath after a shaky breath, slowly calming down. His hold on Elnor’s hand never wavered through it all, and neither did his empty gaze while Elnor continued to mutter soft encouragement and gentle instructions.

Finally, after what seemed like hours to Elnor, quiet and naturally even breathing filled the silence of the room, and Elnor allowed himself to relax a little.

“That’s it,” he whispered and gave Hugh’s hand another reassuring squeeze. “Well done.”

“Elnor,” Hugh breathed once more, his voice a mere hoarse whisper. He sounded drained and exhausted, and in pain.

“I am here,” Elnor repeated, feeling like a broken record (something he’d heard Rios say on one occasion and asked Raffi later to explain to him). When Hugh didn’t say anything else, he asked, “How long have you been awake?”

He heard Hugh swallow. “A while, I think,” Hugh finally murmured. “I … I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone.”

Would he have reacted differently if he had, Elnor wondered? Would Hugh have woken him up instead of lying in the dark for who knew how long, silently struggling with the rising panic he felt on his own?

_Maybe_ , Elnor thought. Probably not, though. He remembered Hugh’s reluctance to believe him when he swore to him yesterday that he would never be alone again all too well. Hugh appeared to be someone who was used to fighting his battles on his own. Deanna had confirmed as much during their talk last night. So why should Hugh ask for help when experience had taught him that help never came?

The thought alone, the loneliness behind it, made Elnor’s heart ache.

“I’ve been by your side ever since we reached Nepenthe,” he said softly. He needed Hugh to know that, and he hoped it would be enough to show him that Elnor was different than the people he had known in the past. “You were never alone.”

He watched as Hugh’s mismatched eyes searched for his face. “So we made it?”

“We made it,” Elnor confirmed, allowing Hugh to change the subject. “You were … in a really bad way when we arrived. How much do you remember?”

“Not a lot,” Hugh said. He frowned, obviously trying to recall what happened. “Trees. I remember trees. And sunlight. Is the sun shining now? I think I feel it.”

Elnor glanced at the window above their heads, at the bright colors of the morning sky beyond the glass. “It’s morning,” he said quietly. “The sun is just rising.”

For the first time since Elnor woke up, something like peace settled over Hugh’s features. “It must be beautiful,” he said, almost wistfully.

“You will be able to see it soon,” Elnor assured him. “Beverly said you would.”

He felt Hugh’s hold on his hand slacken for a brief second in surprise. “Beverly was here?”

“Not physically,” Elnor amended, “but we opened a channel to her ship and she was with you from the moment Soji and I brought you to the house. She saved your life.”

Hugh smiled softly when he heard that. “She always does,” he said, his gaze far away and lost in memories Elnor didn’t share but wished he could.

He wanted to know what Hugh saw right now in the dark, wanted to ask how often Beverly had been there for him not only as his friend but as his physician as well, and he hoped there would come a time when he could. Right now, however, there were more important things he needed to know. “How are you feeling?” he asked. “Are you in any pain?”

“I’m fine,” Hugh said at once. His defensive tone took Elnor a little aback. He got the feeling Hugh often used phrases like _I’m fine_ or _I’m okay_ to get people off his back and stop them from asking too many unwanted questions. Before Elnor could tell him that this tactic wouldn’t work with him, Hugh followed up with a quiet, “You reactivated my nanoprobes.”

_Oh_ , Elnor thought. It was a statement, not a question, and it took him completely by surprise. Stunned, he asked, “How can you tell?”

“I can feel them,” Hugh said simply.

Elnor felt his stomach drop. “You can?”

Hugh let out a soft sigh that sounded weary and exhausted. “Not in the way you think. It’s not like ants crawling underneath your skin or something like that. More like … a hum in the back of your mind, an electric current you hadn’t realized was gone. My whole body is thrumming with activity right now.”

“Oh.” Elnor said, a small desolate sound, as he realized what Hugh wasn’t saying. Suddenly, the struggling and screaming during the reactivation of the nanoprobes made sense in the most horrifying way. The moment Soji connected her device to his wrist, Hugh had felt every single dormant nanoprobe coming to life, and it wasn’t hard to imagine that the whole process must be eerily similar to assimilation. No wonder he had fought them as hard as he could yesterday: he’d been scared out of his mind that they were turning him back into a Borg drone.

The thought alone made Elnor feel sick.

“Is that why you woke up?” he asked. “Because you feel different now?” He took Hugh’s silence and averted gaze as confirmation. “I’m sorry,” he added in a whisper. “I don’t think we had any other choice but … I wish we didn’t have to do that to you.”

Hugh closed his unseeing eyes. “It’s all right,” he said, like it was no big deal even though Elnor could feel that it clearly was from the desperate strength with which Hugh was still gripping his hand. “It just brings back some unpleasant memories. But I’ll get used to it. I always do.”

He put on a brave smile, something Elnor had seen everyone on _La Sirena_ do at least once when they didn’t want to bother someone with their problems, and this almost involuntary reaction when faced with other people’s worries never failed to make something deep within Elnor’s chest ache. He wasn’t used to people being so broken and scared of being hurt that they protected what little of their hearts and trust remained intact with high impenetrable walls that kept everyone at a safe distance. On Vashti, within the Qowat Milat, Elnor had known only truth and trust. Feelings weren’t hidden from others. They were spoken out loud and openly discussed, and there was no shame in admitting you were struggling with something and needed help or comfort.

Outside the Qowat Milat, Elnor had quickly learned, things were different. People didn’t trust others like that, not even their closest friends or partners in some cases. Sometimes, people got angry when others tried to confront them, or they hid away for hours to escape worried gazes. Elnor would be lying if he said he understood that kind of behavior, but knowing how lonely Hugh’s life must have been in the past he understood at least where it came from in Hugh’s case. In a galaxy where most people considered showing feelings a weakness, where vulnerability could and would be exploited and taken advantage of, you either had to adapt or face the consequences.

Elnor wondered how often Hugh had been forced to do the latter before he learned how to hide his true feelings behind kind smiles and reassurances that weren’t true but at least kept people at a safe distance. Looking at Hugh’s lowered eyes now, he’d wager it had been too often, and Elnor swore to himself that he would never do anything to break Hugh’s trust and give him a reason to hide from him.

“Beverly said we might be able to deactivate the nanoprobes this evening,” he offered quietly when the silence between them stretched too long, hoping the words would bring Hugh at least a little bit of comfort.

“That’s … that’s good,” Hugh said. His body language told a different story, though: Elnor could practically feel the anxiety rolling off him.

He gave Hugh’s hand another reassuring squeeze. “Would you like me to be there during the procedure?”

He had every intention to stay at Hugh’s side, of course, but in the end it was Hugh’s decision to make and if Hugh would rather be alone when Soji deactivated the nanoprobes, then Elnor would respect that even though he wouldn’t like it.

“You don’t have to stay with me, Elnor,” Hugh said softly, and Elnor had a feeling he was talking about more than just the process of deactivating the nanoprobes. “You have done enough for me already. More than enough.”

“I disagree,” Elnor said, “but that doesn’t matter right now. I wish to stay with you not out of obligation but because you are my friend and I want to be there. Is that all right?”

Hugh’s unseeing eyes blinked and, after a moment of startled silence, he cleared his throat. “Yes,” he said hoarsely. “I … I suppose it is.”

Relieved, Elnor smiled even though Hugh couldn’t see it. “I am glad to hear you say that.” Changing the topic to put Hugh more at ease, he asked, “Is there anything I can get you? Some water, perhaps? I probably should have asked that sooner, but …”

He shrugged somewhat helplessly and left the sentence hanging, feeling a little embarrassed that he got sidetracked. But then the side of Hugh’s mouth pulled up into a half-smile that held more genuine affection and warmth than the one he had hidden behind earlier that Elnor felt instantly better. “A glass of water would be much appreciated.”

“I will be right back.”

Elnor gave Hugh’s hand one last reassuring squeeze before he hurried out of the room and into the kitchen on silent feet. The flowers on the table had stopped glowing sometime during the night and now looked just like ordinary flowers as Elnor passed them on his way to the sink. The house around him was quiet, its other occupants most likely still asleep. Careful not to make too much noise, Elnor filled two glasses with water – one for Hugh, and one for himself. He turned off the faucet and turned around, almost expecting Deanna to appear like she had the night before, but the kitchen remained empty except for him.

When Elnor returned to the guest room, he was surprised to find Hugh sitting up and leaning against the wall, the blanket pulled up around his hunched shoulders. The morning light softened the shadows beneath his eyes and gave his pale skin a deceivingly healthy glow. It did nothing to hide the heavily bandaged wound on his neck, though, or make the sight less harrowing.

“It’s me,” Elnor announced his presence, finally dragging his eyes away from the pristine white bandage. Hugh abruptly turned his head towards him, his eyes landing once more off-target somewhere to Elnor’s left, and his shoulders visibly relaxed. The blanket slipped down a little but Hugh didn’t bother to pull it up again. Instead, he used his hand to softly pat the empty space on the mattress next to him.

Elnor took it for the invitation it was and carefully sat down – not too close to touch, but close enough that Hugh could feel his body heat and reach out if he wanted to. He made a mental note to remember to make more noise in the future as long as Hugh couldn’t see so he wouldn’t startle him again. 

“Hold out your hands,” Elnor instructed quietly. Ignoring the visible shaking (a sign of fatigue, or the aftereffects of the poison wreaking havoc on Hugh’s nervous system?), he gently pushed one of the glasses into Hugh’s hands, only letting go once he was sure Hugh’s hold on it was secure.

He watched in silence as Hugh drained the whole glass in a series of small sips. Hugh winced with every swallow, though whether that was because his throat was sore from screaming or the wound in his neck bothered him, Elnor didn’t know. Perhaps it was a combination of both, he thought.

When Hugh was finished, he held out the glass in Elnor’s direction and Elnor took it from him.

“Do you want more?” Elnor asked.

Hugh shook his head. “No, thank you. I’m good for now.”

Elnor placed both of their glasses on the little table next to the bed and leaned back against the wall. He turned his head to look at Hugh and finally asked the question that’s been on his mind ever since he returned to their room. “Should you be sitting up?”

Hugh gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Probably not,” he admitted. One of his hands settled briefly against his side, right over the place where Elnor knew the second knife wound lay hidden, before he carefully drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He rested his right cheek on his knees, and let out a soft sigh.

“Have you ever been afraid of the dark, Elnor?”

Elnor frowned, thrown by the sudden change in topic. “As a child I was,” he answered truthfully after a moment of thinking about it. “When the sky was clouded and there were no stars, and you couldn’t see your own hand in front of your face, I got scared, especially after I came to live on Vashti. I learned to put that fear behind me, though. Zani helped me with that,” he added fondly.

“You’re lucky, then,” Hugh said, his voice no louder than a whisper. “I never quite managed that feat.”

Elnor stared at him for a heartbeat or two, not quite sure in which direction their talk was going and what all this had to do with Hugh sitting up even though it obviously put him in pain, before he mimicked Hugh’s pose. “What about the darkness scares you?”

Hugh closed his eyes – an involuntary reaction, Elnor was sure. “The disorientation,” he said. “And the helplessness. _Especially_ the helplessness.” He swallowed hard before he confessed, “This isn’t the first time I’ve lost my sight, Elnor.”

Something tugged viciously at Elnor’s heart when he heard that soft admission. It almost seemed unfathomable that Hugh had gone through this before. How unlucky could someone be to experience temporary blindness not only once, but twice? The mere thought of Hugh alone in the dark, helpless and scared and in a place Elnor had probably never heard of made Elnor ball up his fists in useless anger.

“What happened?” he pressed out, unable to keep his voice even.

Just like earlier, Hugh shrugged like it didn’t matter. “I sold my Borg implants,” he said, and Elnor sucked in a breath. “The xBs I was with at the time – they needed help, and help doesn’t come cheap in this galaxy, at least not for people like us.” He sighed. “I don’t know if you’re aware of that, but Borg implants are very sought-after in certain circles. Some people are willing to go to great lengths to acquire them, so it wasn’t hard to find someone to … trade with.”

_Trade with_.

Hugh said that as if it had been a simple exchange of goods between farmers – one sack of rice for a sack of potatoes – even though his life had probably been at stake.

“You let someone cut you open,” Elnor put it bluntly.

Hugh’s face hardened. “Yes. Otherwise my people would have died, Elnor, and that was not an acceptable alternative.”

Taken aback by the harsh tone, Elnor asked softly, “Wasn’t there another way? One that didn’t put you in danger?”

“Probably,” Hugh admitted after a moment, the tension bleeding out of his frame once more. A little more softly, he added, “But I … I wanted the implants _gone_ , Elnor. I wanted to look into a mirror and see who I _am_ , not who I _was_.”

The anger Elnor had felt at Hugh’s recklessness and disregard for his own safety vanished in an instant. He didn’t know how exactly Hugh had looked when he was still Borg, but he’d seen other drones during his short stay on the Artifact. It wasn’t hard to imagine the eyepiece covering most of the left side of Hugh’s face, or the paleness of his skin and the cables encircling his body. Borg drones weren’t a pretty sight, and Elnor couldn’t even begin to imagine how it must have felt like to look into a mirror and see only the past and all the horrors that came with it and never the present or the future you fought for.

But there was one thing he didn’t understand, no matter from what angle he looked at it.

“Why didn’t you ask Beverly for help?” he asked, hugging his knees a little tighter.

Without knowing it, Hugh leaned forward and mirrored him. “Because I’m not a brave person, Elnor,” he murmured, sounding half ashamed and half embarrassed. “Back then even less so than now.”

Elnor’s confusion only grew. “That’s not true,” he said with a shake of his head Hugh couldn’t see. “We might not have known each other long but I know that much. Anyone who fights for a good cause and doesn’t give up even when the whole universe is against them is brave, and from what I’ve heard you’ve been fighting for the xBs for many years.”

“My whole life,” Hugh murmured. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I was too scared to do something as simple as contact a friend.”

“What were you afraid of?” Elnor asked, curious now.

Hugh gave a helpless shrug. “That she wouldn’t want to help me?” He heaved a heavy sigh. “Back then, my contact with Beverly and Geordie was sporadic at best. I sometimes wouldn’t hear from them in months. I … I wanted to reach out to them. Every day,” he admitted in a small voice. “But I was afraid they wouldn’t want to hear from me, that I would bother them. So I never did.”

“You thought they’d reject you,” Elnor summarized. He was quiet for a moment to gather his thoughts. “I might not know Geordi,” he finally said, “but I met Beverly yesterday and I could see how much she cares about you. She looked so very worried during the surgery. I do not think she would ever turn you away, least of all when you’re in need of help.”

“I know,” Hugh said, and for a moment his expression became one of fondness before his smile dimmed once more. “But back then I didn’t. While I considered them to be my friends, I wasn’t quite sure they did the same. It just seemed easier to ask a stranger for help, you know?” Elnor didn’t but he chose not to voice that thought. “I found a doctor on a planet on the edge of Federation space. He had kind eyes, an easy smile – it had been months since anyone had looked at me like that, like I was a person and not a thing, and that was all it took for me to trust him.”

He sounded sad when he said that, as if there was an ancient ache in his chest that never stopped hurting, and Elnor suddenly realized that Hugh must have been very lonely back then if something as simple as a kind word was enough to make him throw caution to the wind and trust a complete stranger to remove his implants. Was it that same kind of loneliness, smoothed over after years of continuous contact with people like Beverly but still sharp in certain places, that made Hugh trust Elnor so readily after Picard had left them? Had Elnor’s comforting words and gentle touches been so well-received because comfort and closeness had been missing from Hugh’s life for too long?

It wasn’t hard to imagine. Elnor had seen what life on the Artifact was like: the cold draft that chilled the halls, the gloomy darkness that seemed to permeate everything, not to mention the Zhat Vash breathing down Hugh’s neck and forcing him to be careful with every step he took and every word he said. There was no room for smiles and laughter there. What Elnor had said to Deanna yesterday was true: the Artifact was a workplace, not a home. Hugh might consider the xBs his family but when it came down to it all the relationships he’d formed on the Artifact were imbalanced because he was not only their director and protector, but also so much further ahead in regaining his individuality than they were that the newly reclaimed xBs seemed like children compared to him. He cared for them like Zani had cared for Elnor and in turn they looked up to him.

But Hugh – Hugh didn’t have anyone in his life like that, at least not on the Artifact. There was no harbor for him there, no person he could share his burdens and worries with, no Qowat Milat like Zani had. Maybe one day, when the xBs were more like Hugh and Seven and less like lost souls, they would stand on equal ground with them and could be considered friends instead of patients or charges, but from what Elnor had seen yesterday that day was still a long way off.

The thought of Hugh, surrounded by his people and still very much apart and alone, made Elnor want to reach out and show him that comfort and companionship didn’t necessarily have to be hard to come by, not with Elnor at least. Not wanting to overwhelm Hugh, Elnor carefully shifted his leg until his right foot touched the side of Hugh’s left foot.

He smiled when Hugh wriggled his toes in surprise at the contact but didn’t move his foot away.

“You trust too easily,” he murmured gently.

Hugh let out a humorless chuckle. “Don’t I know it? Though on that particular occasion my trust wasn’t actually misplaced. The doctor kept his word: in exchange for my implants he gave me everything the xBs needed to survive.”

“But?” Elnor prompted gently, knowing there was more to the story.

Hugh sighed. “Things went wrong, like they always do. When I woke up, after the surgery, I was strapped down and couldn’t move. We’d talked about that before, the doctor and I – security measures, you know? Back then, no one knew if there was some kind of failsafe programmed into Borg implants that would activate upon removal, so we figured we’d be better safe than sorry.”

“Is there?” Elnor couldn’t help but ask. “A failsafe, I mean?”

“No,” Hugh shook his head. “Not when the nanoprobes are already deactivated. But there were other … complications during the surgery. I don’t really know what went wrong – Beverly could probably tell you the details – but whatever it was damaged the optical nerve of my organic eye and when I woke up I was blind.”

Elnor closed his eyes and tried to imagine how he would have felt in a situation where he was at the mercy of someone he didn’t know and couldn’t fully trust, unable to move and see. Only one word came to his mind: panic. Despite all his training, he most likely would have panicked.

“My first thought was that I had walked right into a trap and would spend the rest of my days in that damp cellar until the doctor had harvested all the implants he could get his hands on,” Hugh admitted. “I … I remember screaming and thrashing. It didn’t change anything, of course, but I wasn’t really thinking at this point. Luckily, the doctor heard me. He’d been upstairs – probably studying my implants – and came down to the cellar immediately. He opened the straps and started apologizing, asking if there was anyone he could contact for me. Ten hours later, Beverly and Geordi arrived.”

By the end of the sentence Hugh had been talking so fast he had to take a deep, shuddering breath. The trauma of that experience was written all over his face and body: His fingers were digging deep into the flesh of his arms, leaving crescent-shaped indents in his skin, while his face had lost what little color it had managed to regain since he woke up. Wide unseeing eyes were blinking frantically at nothing, lost in the past, and Hugh’s chest kept heaving with exertion.

“Easy,” Elnor murmured. “Just breathe. All of that is in the past and over.”

_At least partially_ , he amended quietly. No wonder Hugh had panicked earlier and couldn’t stand to lie down. All of this – waking up in unfamiliar surroundings, unable to see, not knowing what had happened – was a little too similar to what he had experienced years ago, triggering all those memories Elnor had no doubt Hugh had tried not to think about in the last few years.

“Now you know why I’m afraid of the dark,” Hugh mumbled self-consciously once he had his breathing back under control.

“Did you ever tell anyone that?” Elnor asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “Beverly, or Geordi? Maybe Picard?”

Hugh shook his head. “It seemed silly at the time. Still does, actually.”

So Elnor was the only person Hugh had shared that moment of his past with. Maybe not knowing each other that well made it easier for him to open up, or maybe his defenses were worn down after the ordeal he’d been through. Whatever the reason was, Elnor was glad Hugh had finally confided in someone and didn’t have to carry that burden alone anymore.

“It’s not silly,” he told him quietly. “It’s actually very brave to let someone else see your pain.”

His words echoed something Zani had told him when he was still a young child, lost and displaced and so far away from anything and anyone he had known.

“Sharing your thoughts and feelings, both the good and the bad, with others, making yourself vulnerable to them, is one of the bravest things a person can do,” she had said. “It is something to be cherished and treasured. Never forget that, Elnor.”

It had been hard for Elnor at first, even at such a young age, to talk about the death of his family. If Zani had let him, he would have rather buried the memories as deeply as he could in his mind so they couldn’t touch him. But Zani had been persistent, had gently prodded and encouraged him to talk and never given up. And one day, Elnor had finally shared his memories with her, had shouted his anger into the night and wept his grief into her shoulder. That moment had been both awful and freeing, and he hoped that Hugh now felt lighter for sharing his trauma just like Elnor had all those years ago.

With a sigh, Hugh leant back until his head rested against the wall once more. His posture seemed more open, less guarded, and a small smile pulled at his lips. “That’s the second time you’ve called me brave,” he mused.

“Absolute Candor,” Elnor reminded him, leaning back as well so that their shoulders touched.

“Right,” Hugh said. “What you did yesterday – that was brave, too,” he added quietly.

Unexpectantly, Elnor felt his skin grow hot at the praise. He wouldn’t be surprised if his ears were tinged green right now, and for the first time since Hugh lost his eyesight, he was glad Hugh couldn’t see him.

“I’m just happy we made it off the cube in one piece,” he mumbled in reply.

Beside him, Hugh grew quiet and still. “Any word from the Artifact?” he asked. His voice was even, carefully controlled once more, but Elnor could hear the anxiety trembling beneath the calm.

“None so far,” he answered truthfully, and Hugh’s shoulders fell in disappointment. “But Seven of Nine and Beverly are on their way to it now and I’m sure they will contact us as soon as they arrive and have assessed the situation.”

Hugh’s head whipped around, and he winced when the motion pulled at his wound. “Seven and … and Beverly? They’re both going to the Artifact?” he asked in astonishment. “How?”

As quickly as possible, Elnor told him about how Deanna contacted Admiral Janeway and how the admiral had not only relayed a message to Seven of Nine but also sent the _USS Asclepius_ on its way to offer medical help and provide whatever else the xBs were in need of. Hugh’s eyes grew wider with every word Elnor said and by the end of his tale Hugh looked at him with such utter amazement and gratitude that Elnor found it hard to hold his unseeing gaze.

“You did all of that last night?” Hugh asked, his voice full of wonder.

“Yes,” Elnor said. “I knew you would worry about your people, and I didn’t want you to have to. They will be in good hands until you are well again and we can return to the Artifact.”

Hugh’s breathing stuttered. “We?”

“Of course,” Elnor said. “I bound my sword to your cause. As long as you will allow it, I will be by your side, fighting with you and for you and your people.”

He felt Hugh tremble beside him. “You really mean that,” Hugh breathed.

Elnor nodded. “I do. Is that all right?”

For a moment, the room fell quiet as Hugh contemplated Elnor’s words, and Elnor’s gaze trailed over the left side of Hugh’s face. This was the first time he could properly look at the lines of scar tissue marking Hugh’s skin and trace their intricate network with his eyes. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how bad the damage from the removal surgery must have been when even dermal regenerators couldn’t undo it completely. The pain Hugh had to have been in must have been immense. He wondered if that had been the first time Beverly had been forced to reactivate the nanoprobes, but refrained from asking.

“I wouldn’t wish life on the Artifact on anybody,” Hugh soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. “It’s tiring, exhausting and often frustrating. You need to know that, Elnor. It will be completely different from anything you’ve known. What you’ve seen yesterday – it’s only the tip of the iceberg. There is so much loss there. So much pain. It’s not … it’s not an easy life.”

“I’m aware of all that,” Elnor said. “And I accept it.”

“Why?” Hugh asked, almost helplessly.

“Because when I look at you,” Elnor began, swallowing hard. “When I look at you, I see a cause worth fighting for. And it’s not a hopeless one.”

Hugh seemed stunned by his declaration. Then, slowly, the left side of his mouth twitched with the beginnings of a smile. “No one has ever said something like that to me before,” he admitted quietly. “Most people regard the Reclamation Project as a means to an end – a necessary evil to get insight into Borg physiology, to study components. They don’t see the people behind it, the … the victims.”

“I do,” Elnor whispered, his eyes landing on the scar tissue around Hugh’s left eye once more. “I promise you I do.”

Hugh smiled. “You have done so much for me already, and for my people. It … it means the world to me, Elnor. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be glad to see a friendly face every day.”

“So you will allow me to accompany you?” Elnor asked hopefully.

“Under one condition,” Hugh said. “You have to promise me something, Elnor: if you ever feel unhappy with that life, if the Artifact and the work we’ll do becomes too much to bear, you will tell me. I know you value your duty and the oath you made, but I value your happiness even more. You’re young – the galaxy has so much to offer to you. If you ever wish to leave, you must promise not to hide it from me. All right?”

Elnor thought that over. Right now, he could not imagine a life not by Hugh’s side, but he knew circumstances could change. They did with him and Picard, after all. And Hugh was right: the Artifact was a trying place. Elnor believed he could persevere there and do some good, but only time would tell if that assessment was true. Until then, the least he could do was promise Hugh to always be truthful with him.

“All right,” he finally said, making sure Hugh could hear the smile in his voice. “I will tell you should I wish to leave if you will tell me when you need to take a break.”

His words startled a huff of laughter out of Hugh, quickly stifled when it made pain flare up in Hugh’s side. “My life doesn’t really allow me to take breaks, Elnor.”

“From now on it will,” Elnor promised.

Hugh’s face softened. He was quiet for a moment, and when he finally whispered, “Thank you, Elnor,” Elnor knew it was not only for the past and the present, but also the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry it took this long to publish chapter 4. The lovely Hugh Crew know how much I struggled with it. I'm still not particularly happy how it turned out but it is what it is and it's not going to get better. I still hope you're going to enjoy it. 
> 
> Also, I've decided to leave the story like this and have this be the final chapter. I just don't have the time for a lengthy multi-chaptered fic right now (hence the few one-shots I posted over the last few weeks) and I don't want to leave you guys waiting for a chapter that's not going to come. I do plan to continue this with a series of sequels at one point, though, so look out for that. 
> 
> Finally, I want to thank all of you who've read this story and left kudos and comments! I appreciate that very much! <3


End file.
